My Limiters, My Regulators, My Curse

I look myself in the eye with no more honor than the person beside me.
I look myself in the eye with no more respect than the one who teaches me.
I look myself in the eye with no more hope than the one who decides.
I look myself in the eye with no more courage than the one who sacrifices.

Intelligent words go as far as my blood can reach.
After that, they become gibberish.
Intelligent words go as far as my skin may touch.
After that, they are at your judgement.

What I don't say,
Does not imply my standing,
Does not imply my argument,
Does not imply my thoughts.

I have been judged by what I can never pass.
And because of that, I'm just another brick in the wall.

All That I Wish For

I wish for a wishing tree. A wishing tree to grant me abilities that are achieved through no effort by the commoner.
I wish for a rope. A rope from which to hang from my lifeline.
Perhaps I wish for more then I can ever get.
But is asking for the basic commodities to life too much?
All I ask for is to have what others have through no effort of themselves.
I can get the rest myself.

Of Hurting Arms

Damn, my arms hurt like hell. I can barely move them. So much so that I'm even struggling to type. Varoon did this to me. And I'm glad he did so and is continuing to do so!! Therefore, to avoid further discomfort, I shall give my arms a break by not typing.

I know that my past few entries have been relatively short as compared to the previous month and that can be attributed to the lack of time. I have alot of things to blog about, but sadly I just can't seem to find the time.

Power Gig

Today, after a series of days best forgotten, I had a superb day! Its definitely too much to explain right here. But all I can say is it had alot to do with gigging. I mean, we had to restructure the entire band less then a day befor the gig. Jon could not make it, and thus we lost our lead guitarist, only god knows what happened to Teng Choon, and our replacement guitarist and drummer had not even heard the song that we have wanted to play before. But we managed to pull it together in a couple of hours. Yeah, we even got the solo's for darkness' I Believe In A Thing Called Love done in under one hour, thanks to the magic of improvisation. Secondly, I sang Blink 182's First Date in front of a reasonable amount of people with a fairly distorted voice and the best part of it all was that I forgotten the lyrics half way through the song. And so I kept repeating the lines 'Im Just Scared Of What You'd Think' For god knows how many times. But fortunately, the crowd loved it.. I mean we did a hell lot of wierd stuff on stage but, but I'm too tired to write about it. All I know is Ping Fuan, Jian Chuan, Chris and Marcus did a good job.

Feelingless

You know what, I feel extremely tempted to pour out al my frustrations of this past few days right here, right now. But, I don't think that it would be considered, even by the slightest of margins, as a wise move due to the fact that I have many people reading my blog and I really do not wish to have them bear on their shoulders the wieght of my problems. But anyways, I really dont know what to write today. So I guess I shall sign off.

What Have I done?

The Slow Dancer Deliberate Gentle Love Dreamer (DGLDm) Steady, reliable, and cradling her tenderly. Take a deep breath, and let it out real easy...you are The Slow Dancer. Your focus is love, not sex, and for your age, you have average experience. But you're a great, thoughtful guy, and your love life improves every year. There's also a powerful elimination process working in your favor: most Playboy types get stuck raising unwanted kids before you even begin settling down. The women left over will be hot and yours. Your ideal woman is someone intimate, intelligent, and very supportive. Your exact opposite: The Hornivore Random Brutal Sex Master While you're not exactly the life of the party, you do thrive in small groups of smart people. Your circle of friends is extra tight and it's HIGHLY likely they're just like you. You appreciate symmetry in relationships. ALWAYS AVOID: The Battleaxe CONSIDER: The Maid of Honor or The Sonnet Link: The 32-Type Dating Test by OkCupid - Free Online Dating.

Screwed To The Last Bit

I'm going to keep this short and simple. I know that its very unorthodox of me to do so, but I'm just not in any mood to be poetic or flowery as some of you always say I am. I have had two very bad days. For numerous reasons. Number one, I have implicated as the offender in a crime that I swear I did not commit. The magnitude of this supposed crime is rather severe and the accusers are hell bent on naming me as the guilty party. So getting ot of this one may prove to be very tricky.

Second, my calculus lecturer ruined everybodies marks. She gave us questions which we had never done before for the exam. All of us spent hours upon hours practicing the questions that were in the textbook, the work which she had gave us and I even memorized 20 formulaes and trigonometric identities in 2 hours. I even spent my entire weekend at college. And all of our hardwork proved to be in vain. On more larger note, at least this gives me reason to swith majors to political science or perhaps even property management and real estate. Aerospace is a cool major, but doing the American programme made me realise that I am much stronger at analyzing the trends of society and governments and also identifying ways to successfully make money out of land.

Third, my bands drummer so frequently does his disappearing acts and doesn' even bother to answer any of our calls. Mind you, the gig is in three days time and we havent even practiced. History test is on monday and MPO is on sunday. When will I ever get rest? Definitely not on Chinese New Year.

I don't know what on earth to do. As the days pass, I'm starting to feel less human. I'm less considerate of the needs of others and towards theri feelings. Nothing intelligent seems to want to come out from my mind. I just wish I could turn back time and erase certain events from my past. If only I knew. If only I knew..... But I did not commit whatever you said I did. I did not!

I feel like a screw. Screwed by a screwdriver to breaking point.