Sunday, March 30, 2008
Saturday, March 29, 2008
Winning Is Not Enough
Staring at this screen, I realize that there are so many things that are running through my mind. I have so many things to say, so many people that I want to talk to, to look for and there are so many things that I want to do. But as usual, they don't come out quite like the way I would like it to.
I went to MPH today. I had been looking for a book titled "Winning is Not Enough" by Sir Jackie Stewart, a former 3 times F1 World Champion, an entrepreneur, and a champion of foundations that cater to people with learning disabilities. Since I was there and I had about an hour or so of free time, I decided to look for the book. After some searching, I managed to locate it under the True Profile/Account section. I felt victorious to be honest. Because this is a book that I had wanted to read for quite some time and I couldn't find it anywhere. So having the book in my hands itself definitely felt like a victory. Immediately, I picked it up and proceeded to the reader's corner where I sat down amidst a group of middle aged men and started reading. Upon reading the book, I was impressed by the way it was all layed out and by just how much the beginning few chapters of the book did not focus on Formula 1 but instead of the life of a man who was called an idiot and was humiliated in front of his class because he just couldn't read, spell or do math no matter how hard he tried.
Sir Jackie had a learning disability, which back in the day had still not been discovered. It was dyslexia. Dyslexia is a condition that disables a person from being able to read, write or even do simple math. And therefore often puts them at a disadvantage at school as well as mentally. Often, he, like many other dyslexics, were ridiculed and made fun of without a care about how they felt. And as a result dyslexics, or at least in the case of Sir Jackie, often felt inferior to others and had a massive confidence problem. At one point he even started to believe that he really was stupider than others and that belief went on for a good four decades, even throughout his glorious racing career, right up to the point before he himself was diagnosed as a dyslexic while accompanying his son, Mark, for a medical check up which was, ironically, recommended by his Mark's teachers who suspected that he had learning disabilities. It was at this point that Sir Jackie understood why he had never been able to do tasks that seemed trivial to others. He had dyslexia and it was at this point that his belief and confidence changed for the better.
With that knowledge in hand, he went on to champion causes that are dedicated to training educators into learning how to detect and properly deal with people with learning disabilities. An effort that has won huge accolades and has indeed paid off in dividends in his home country of Scotland.
Of course, I only managed to read halfway through the chapter before being summoned home. But what I've read so far truly is inspiring and in some ways being able to relate to Sir Jackie truly made me ponder about how I can turn a disadvantage into an advantage and not be afraid of the world simply because I imagine it to be intimidating and not because it really is. Finally, someone who understands. And someone who is where I've always wanted to be.
But on a lighter note, I've finally got my luggage today. I got a 32 inch monster which is supposed to take most of my belongings to Florida. But as it is, the bag is pretty heavy. I wonder how much it would weigh when I put another 30kg into it. And how am I ever going to haul it alone?
On another note, I had fun at MusicFest. I sang!!!!
I went to MPH today. I had been looking for a book titled "Winning is Not Enough" by Sir Jackie Stewart, a former 3 times F1 World Champion, an entrepreneur, and a champion of foundations that cater to people with learning disabilities. Since I was there and I had about an hour or so of free time, I decided to look for the book. After some searching, I managed to locate it under the True Profile/Account section. I felt victorious to be honest. Because this is a book that I had wanted to read for quite some time and I couldn't find it anywhere. So having the book in my hands itself definitely felt like a victory. Immediately, I picked it up and proceeded to the reader's corner where I sat down amidst a group of middle aged men and started reading. Upon reading the book, I was impressed by the way it was all layed out and by just how much the beginning few chapters of the book did not focus on Formula 1 but instead of the life of a man who was called an idiot and was humiliated in front of his class because he just couldn't read, spell or do math no matter how hard he tried.
Sir Jackie had a learning disability, which back in the day had still not been discovered. It was dyslexia. Dyslexia is a condition that disables a person from being able to read, write or even do simple math. And therefore often puts them at a disadvantage at school as well as mentally. Often, he, like many other dyslexics, were ridiculed and made fun of without a care about how they felt. And as a result dyslexics, or at least in the case of Sir Jackie, often felt inferior to others and had a massive confidence problem. At one point he even started to believe that he really was stupider than others and that belief went on for a good four decades, even throughout his glorious racing career, right up to the point before he himself was diagnosed as a dyslexic while accompanying his son, Mark, for a medical check up which was, ironically, recommended by his Mark's teachers who suspected that he had learning disabilities. It was at this point that Sir Jackie understood why he had never been able to do tasks that seemed trivial to others. He had dyslexia and it was at this point that his belief and confidence changed for the better.
With that knowledge in hand, he went on to champion causes that are dedicated to training educators into learning how to detect and properly deal with people with learning disabilities. An effort that has won huge accolades and has indeed paid off in dividends in his home country of Scotland.
Of course, I only managed to read halfway through the chapter before being summoned home. But what I've read so far truly is inspiring and in some ways being able to relate to Sir Jackie truly made me ponder about how I can turn a disadvantage into an advantage and not be afraid of the world simply because I imagine it to be intimidating and not because it really is. Finally, someone who understands. And someone who is where I've always wanted to be.
But on a lighter note, I've finally got my luggage today. I got a 32 inch monster which is supposed to take most of my belongings to Florida. But as it is, the bag is pretty heavy. I wonder how much it would weigh when I put another 30kg into it. And how am I ever going to haul it alone?
On another note, I had fun at MusicFest. I sang!!!!
Thursday, March 27, 2008
Doesn't She Know?
Doesn't she know that there is a reason for everyting that happens? Doesn't she know that behind every wall she builds, there is a crack? Doesn't she know that the more she hides, the more exposed she becomes? Doesn't she know that sometimes silence is golden? Sometimes, I don't even know why she bothers. But all I know is that inside, she is screaming for help. Praying for someone to ask her what's wrong. She knows that she can rely on him, but sometimes he just doesn't tell her what she wants to hear. He betrays her trust. But yet, she pretends that it is a good thing. All I know is that she needs to wake up and smell the scent of reality. For anything else is merely a play. A play dramatized by making a mountain out of a molehill. Someone help her please. I broke it. I broke it. I broke it.
Assumptions, merely assumptions. But assumptions that are correct. I know no less, I know no more. But what I know and what she is trying to figure out isn't always the best recepie.
Want to know what I broke? I bet you heart is skipping beats right now. For the physical injury will only be to those who sustained it.
Assumptions, merely assumptions. But assumptions that are correct. I know no less, I know no more. But what I know and what she is trying to figure out isn't always the best recepie.
Want to know what I broke? I bet you heart is skipping beats right now. For the physical injury will only be to those who sustained it.
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
Cruelty
I just don't understand how people can do this and still go to bed at night.
Pledge to go fur-free at PETA.org
Please do not buy fur, or any other anmial product for that matter. Even if they are labled as fake because in the end, these furs, unless they are synthetic, come from animals. Animals who are dispicably treated. Animals who are tortured. Animals that are executed in some of the most barbaric ways. What did theese poor little defenseless creatures ever do to deserve something like these. I know I may not be the most pious person but I know the difference between right and wrong and this is just plain wrong. I think that its time we stopped focusing too much on how to make money from trades like these and focus instead on how we can all work together to try to stop trades like these. Yes, one person alone cannot make a difference. But imagine what can be done if we all joined hands and for once said no to the poachers. The rule of economics say that only when there is a demand, will there be a supply. Stop the demand and these poachers will no longer see it profitable to enter the animal trade.
Pledge to go fur-free at PETA.org
Please do not buy fur, or any other anmial product for that matter. Even if they are labled as fake because in the end, these furs, unless they are synthetic, come from animals. Animals who are dispicably treated. Animals who are tortured. Animals that are executed in some of the most barbaric ways. What did theese poor little defenseless creatures ever do to deserve something like these. I know I may not be the most pious person but I know the difference between right and wrong and this is just plain wrong. I think that its time we stopped focusing too much on how to make money from trades like these and focus instead on how we can all work together to try to stop trades like these. Yes, one person alone cannot make a difference. But imagine what can be done if we all joined hands and for once said no to the poachers. The rule of economics say that only when there is a demand, will there be a supply. Stop the demand and these poachers will no longer see it profitable to enter the animal trade.
Dreams
Sometimes, when you think of something too much, you often find yourself getting closer and closer to it. And if you strategize and work hard enough, you just might get it. At least, that's what I think. I have had some stuff on my mind lately and trying not to think about it is rather difficult. So instead of trying to bottle it all up, I just let it flow. And by allowing it to just flow through my mind, I somehow find myself being closer to it that I ever imagined possible at this time of year. Now, all I can do is to wait and see how things turn out. Of course, I will try hard, but I will not go to the point of looking desperate, although soomehow I feel like I am. But that's life I guess, you always want something better.
Monday, March 24, 2008
Give In To Me
She always takes it with a heart of stone
cause all she does is throw it back to me
Ive spend a lifetime
Looking for someone
Dont try to understand me
Just simply do the
Things I say
Love is a feeling
Give it when I want it
cause Im on fire
Quench my desire
Give it when I want it
Talk to me woman
Give in to me
Give in to me
You always knew just how to make me cry
And never did I ask you questions why
It seems you get your kicks from hurting me
Dont try to understand me
Because your words just arent enough
Love is a feeling
Quench my desire
Give it when I want it
Takin me higher
Love is a woman
I dont wanna hear it
Give in to me
Give in to me
You and your friends
Were laughing at me in town
But its okay
And its okay
You wont be laughing girl
When Im not around
Ill be okay
And ill, Ill not find
Gotta, the peace of mind no
Dont try to tell me
Because your words
Just arent enough
Love is a feeling
Quench my desire
Give it when I want it
Takin me higher
Talk to me woman
Love is a feeling
Give in to me
Give in to me
Give in to me
Love is the feeling
I dont wanna hear it
Quench my desire
Takin me higher
Tell it to the preacher
Satisfy the feeling
Give in to me
Give in to me
I dont wanna
I dont wanna
I dont wanna
Hear it
Give it to the fire
Talk to me woman
Quench my desire
I dont like a lady
Talk to me baby
Give in to me
Give in to the fire
Give in to me
Give in to me
Give in to me
Love is a woman
Give in to me
Give in to me
Give in to me
Give in to me
cause Im on fire
Talk to me woman
Quench my desire
Give it to the feeling
Sunday, March 23, 2008
My First
Right now I feel extremely tired and feeling very dehydrated. I feel sleepy, but somehow, I just can't fall asleep. My throat burning from the lack of water. Now my eyes can't even focus properly. All that because I lost my water bottle at the Sepang F1 Circuit and I wasn't willing to spend money on drinks that cost a bomb. But it was worth it anyways. I got to see my idol power his Ferrari F2008 to a commanding victory and to put his title defence back on track after a nightmare at Australia a week ago. I also have some pictures which I shall post here. Too bad Felipe had to blow a possible Ferrari 1-2 all away with a schoolboy error on lap 31. But on the other hand, Felipe's error did give my other favorite team, BMW Sauber a well deserved chance to stand on the second step of the podium. Something that I am very happy about. The other surprise came from Jarno Trulli who managed to keep a hard charging Lewis Hamilton at bay. I think he did a really good job today.
The atmosphere was electric, generally with the crowd who were very, very enthusiastic and specifically with my college mates who attended the race with me. While it was pretty normal for me to expect to celebrate like a madman with some of my old friends, the surprise for me came in the form of my 18 year old juniors whom I'm currently doing Chemistry with. Some of them were intense. I really didn't expect them to know as much about Formula 1 or to even have followed the sport for as long as they have. Little did I know, like myself, Felicia, started out as a Raikkonen fan back in his Mclaren days and went with him to Ferrari when he made the switch last year. And the way most of them clapped and cheered when Kimi won the race was really great. And cheering along with them, screaming at the top of our lungs everytime we saw Kimi's face on the screen and standing up straight for the Finnish and Italian national anthems really made me feel proud to be a Raikkonen fan and proud to know that there are others who share my interest in Formula 1.
But apart from that, it was a rather interesting day for me. My first grand prix and I already feel more in love with the sport. I just hope that there will be dedicated sports channels that broadcasts the sport in America.
The atmosphere was electric, generally with the crowd who were very, very enthusiastic and specifically with my college mates who attended the race with me. While it was pretty normal for me to expect to celebrate like a madman with some of my old friends, the surprise for me came in the form of my 18 year old juniors whom I'm currently doing Chemistry with. Some of them were intense. I really didn't expect them to know as much about Formula 1 or to even have followed the sport for as long as they have. Little did I know, like myself, Felicia, started out as a Raikkonen fan back in his Mclaren days and went with him to Ferrari when he made the switch last year. And the way most of them clapped and cheered when Kimi won the race was really great. And cheering along with them, screaming at the top of our lungs everytime we saw Kimi's face on the screen and standing up straight for the Finnish and Italian national anthems really made me feel proud to be a Raikkonen fan and proud to know that there are others who share my interest in Formula 1.
But apart from that, it was a rather interesting day for me. My first grand prix and I already feel more in love with the sport. I just hope that there will be dedicated sports channels that broadcasts the sport in America.
Saturday, March 22, 2008
My Last Day
Yesterday was the last day of my job and I must say that I had a colossal amount of fun while working on it. Talking pictures in areas that I was really weak at definitely made me learn a thing or two about photography and it definitely taught me a little bit more about my camera's operating parameters and how how to work through or around them to achieve the optimum settings for a condition my camera is rather weak at, which is low light photography. But together with the knowledge learnt and a little help from my own homemade diffuser, I can say that I was almost satisfied with the end result, save for a white balance problem yesterday which I could not seem to get around in time.
But apart from all the fun and knowledge, all the photography that I have done for this past year has definitely opened up a whole new world of prospects for me. People are starting to approach my team and myself to start covering their events and just last night, we were approaced by this lady, Elaine, from an event company who would like for us to start taking pictures for them. Not bad for a bunch of small timers who never really thought that taking pictures might just help them make an extra buck someday. In other words, we're all professionals! Professionals who have still got a long way more in learning the tricks of the trade. Plus all this photgraphy has certainly opened up an avenue for me to start negotiating a deal for a new Pentax K10D. Afterall, if I am going to do work, I might as well have some decent equipment with me. So, any kind donations will be highly appreciated.
I will post some of my pictures in due time. But in the mean time, I think I'd better go and do something else before my eyes start popping out.
But apart from all the fun and knowledge, all the photography that I have done for this past year has definitely opened up a whole new world of prospects for me. People are starting to approach my team and myself to start covering their events and just last night, we were approaced by this lady, Elaine, from an event company who would like for us to start taking pictures for them. Not bad for a bunch of small timers who never really thought that taking pictures might just help them make an extra buck someday. In other words, we're all professionals! Professionals who have still got a long way more in learning the tricks of the trade. Plus all this photgraphy has certainly opened up an avenue for me to start negotiating a deal for a new Pentax K10D. Afterall, if I am going to do work, I might as well have some decent equipment with me. So, any kind donations will be highly appreciated.
I will post some of my pictures in due time. But in the mean time, I think I'd better go and do something else before my eyes start popping out.
Thursday, March 20, 2008
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
Desires
The request has been made, the quotations have been put forward. The negotiation goes on......
Damn, two Ferrari's, a Lamborghini and a whole lot of horsepower is good enough to make one photographer that much more happier. It also makes him more ambitious. He desires it moore than anything else on the face of this planet. Afterall, why not? He has always been told that he can't. But he has alway proven his detractors wrong. Why should it go wrong this time around?
Damn, two Ferrari's, a Lamborghini and a whole lot of horsepower is good enough to make one photographer that much more happier. It also makes him more ambitious. He desires it moore than anything else on the face of this planet. Afterall, why not? He has always been told that he can't. But he has alway proven his detractors wrong. Why should it go wrong this time around?
Monday, March 17, 2008
Angelito
Hey…
Quienes son
Eliel
Don
El Rey, El Rey
Amanecio bajo las alas de la muerte (de la muerte)
Aquellos brazos de hombre que la aprietan fuerte (fuerte)
Todavia le late el alma, el corazon no lo siente (no lo siente)
Amanecio bajo las alas de la muerte
Y vuela, vuela, vuela…
Angelito vuela
que ya no me quedan
Muchas horas de vida desde tu partida.
Angelito vuela
Angelito vuela
Que tampoco te quedan
Muchas horas de vida
Marque tu partida, angelito
Amanecio bajo las alas de la muerte (de la muerte)
Aquellos brazos de hombre que la aprietan fuerte (fuerte)
Todavia le late el alma, el corazon no lo siente (no lo siente)
Amanecio bajo las alas de la muerte
Y vuela, vuela, vuela…
Angelito vuela
que ya no me quedan
Muchas horas de vida desde tu partida.
Angelito vuela
Angelito vuela
Que tampoco te quedan
Muchas horas de vida
Marque tu partida, angelito
Sorprendio en la cama de un extraño
Jugando a quererse
Nunca penso que la venganza a un desengaño
La hicieran perderse
Tal vez fueron las copas, el ambiente o tanta gente
O aquella excusa frecuente
O aquel refran de que la vida es sola una
Y hay que vivir el presente
Que engaño dos extraños jugando a quererse
En lo oscuro el amor no puede verse
Es que tengas la vida de frente
Es morir o détente, détente
Que engaño dos extraños jugando a quererse
En lo oscuro el amor no puede verse
Es que tengas la vida de frente
Es morir o détente, détente
De nada vale llorar
Tan solo queda volar
Solo expande tus alas
coje vuelo y no vuelvas mas
De nada vale llorar
Tan solo queda volar
Solo expande tus alas
coje vuelo y no vuelvas mas
y vuela vuela…
y vuela vuela…
Vuela…
Angelito vuela
que ya no me quedan
Muchas horas de vida desde tu partida.
Angelito vuela
Angelito vuela
Que tampoco te quedan
Muchas horas de vida
Marque tu partida, angelito
Vuela…
Estos es una experencia de 2 enamorados
De 2 soñadores
De 2 amantes
Que permitieron que tan solo en 1 minuto de su vida
Decidieron dentro de la misma
Ironico el momento
En que el amor, se convierte en muerte
Que descansen en paz
Vive la vida minuto a minuto
Y encontraras en cada uno de ellos
Un motivo por el cual conducirte
En la forma correcta
Te lo aseguro
Sunday, March 16, 2008
STYLO
My new job...
Fashion weeks, where men go to look like females and where ladies go to....(you get the picture). But anyways, this will be my job for the next week or so, to document the progression of the KL Fashion week. Definitely much better than my other jobs. But then again when you get to take pictures of,
The queen of Malaysia,
Gorgeous models,
and...
Yi Man??
...you know that you are going to have good time.
What more can I say?
Fashion weeks, where men go to look like females and where ladies go to....(you get the picture). But anyways, this will be my job for the next week or so, to document the progression of the KL Fashion week. Definitely much better than my other jobs. But then again when you get to take pictures of,
The queen of Malaysia,
Gorgeous models,
and...
Yi Man??
...you know that you are going to have good time.
What more can I say?
Saturday, March 15, 2008
Rock Fest
From now on, I am going to call it Rock Fest. Screw what the rest of you have to say. I already gave you your chance too many times. But since you didn't do anything about it, I shall have no choice but to do it my way. Go rock Fest!!
Thursday, March 13, 2008
Q&A
I got tagged by a certain "Ms Celine Dion aka CKT":P
Real name: Tfouijm Lvnbsbbo Tvcsbnbojbn
Nickname: Sent, dude, rockstar, tube.
Married: Not to anyone.
Male/Female: Male
High school: SMKSJ
College: INTI College and ERAU
Short or long hair: Short
Are you a healthy freak: Would a hearty laugh answer the question?
Height: 5 foot 9 maybe.
Do you have a crush on someone?: The last time I checked, everyone who met me left intact. So no, I've never placed a crushing device on anyone.
Do you like yourself: Yes.
Piercings: I did have a pair of piercings on my ears. But that was when I was 7. Religous reasons.
Righty of lefty: I'm right handed. But I would like to start using my left.
First....
Surgery: Never had one. And I'm afraid of the operating room.
Piercing: I think I already answerd this one not too long ago.
Person you see in the morning: It depends which way I am looking when I wake up. But usually its Chester Bennington and gang.
Award: I have a few awards. The latest being my scholarship from ERAU.
Sport you join: If jamming is a sport, then I am a defending World Champion.
Pet: A dog by the name of Sugar
Vacation: I have had a few. A trip to redang would be the next one.
Concert: Linkin Park, Fort Minor, Rock The World and a few more.
First crush: Like I told you before, I have never crushed anyone. Perhaps something but not someone. But if you are talking about pushing people into drains, yes I have.
Currently...
Eating: Nothing. I just had lunch. But I do feel like eating some meat.
Drinking: Nothing as well. But I do feel like having some coke.
I'm about to: Type the answer for this question.
Your future...
Want kids: Yes. Two in fact. So I could still drive a sports car and not a mini van.
Want to get married: I would love to. Absolutely.
Careers in mind: An explorer, a photographer, a writer. I want to own a Blues Bar someday and perhaps a few businesses here and there. I'd like to start charitable organizations and I also want to have my own Formula 1 team.
Which is better?
Lips or eyes?: It depends on when it is. I would prefer the lips if I were kissing and the eyes if I were gazing into them.
Hugs or kisses: Both would do. I'm not too demanding in that sense.
Shorter or taller?: Both are still fine with me. I'm not too particular.
Romantic or spontaneous: Both actually.
Sensitive or loud: It all depends on the situation.
Troublemaker or hesitant?: I love cheekiness, so yeah a troublemaker.
Have you ever....
Kissed a stranger?: Not to my knowledge.
Drank bubbles: I've drank Bubble tea.
Lost glasses/contacts: Loosing my eyeware was my forte. Thankfully, it no longer is.
Ran away from home: Not physically.
Liked someone younger: Yes.
Liked someone older: Yes.
Broke someone's heart: Definitely. Though, I'm not proud of it at all.
Been arrested: No. I wouldn't want to get into trouble with the cops.
Cried when someone died: Never did.
Do u believe in...
Yourself?: I wouldn't be here if I didn't.
Miracles: Miracles happen if you believe in them. I've seen some. So yes I do.
Heaven: In a symbolic way, yes. Afterall, heaven is what you make of it.
Santa Claus: If it makes someone happier and gives them hope that somewhere out there, someone still remembers them, and will be there for them, I do.
Magic: I don't believe in it or against it.
Angels: I see them everyday.
Answer truthfully..
Is there someone u want to be with right now?: Yes.
Do u believe in God?: Let's just say that I am happy being an observer of faiths.
Tag 5 ppl:
1)Sara
2)David
3)Elena
4)Jon
5)Rach
6)I know you said 5, but I'm feeling a little generous, so I would also love to tag anyone else who stubled upon this and wanted to answer it.
Real name: Tfouijm Lvnbsbbo Tvcsbnbojbn
Nickname: Sent, dude, rockstar, tube.
Married: Not to anyone.
Male/Female: Male
High school: SMKSJ
College: INTI College and ERAU
Short or long hair: Short
Are you a healthy freak: Would a hearty laugh answer the question?
Height: 5 foot 9 maybe.
Do you have a crush on someone?: The last time I checked, everyone who met me left intact. So no, I've never placed a crushing device on anyone.
Do you like yourself: Yes.
Piercings: I did have a pair of piercings on my ears. But that was when I was 7. Religous reasons.
Righty of lefty: I'm right handed. But I would like to start using my left.
First....
Surgery: Never had one. And I'm afraid of the operating room.
Piercing: I think I already answerd this one not too long ago.
Person you see in the morning: It depends which way I am looking when I wake up. But usually its Chester Bennington and gang.
Award: I have a few awards. The latest being my scholarship from ERAU.
Sport you join: If jamming is a sport, then I am a defending World Champion.
Pet: A dog by the name of Sugar
Vacation: I have had a few. A trip to redang would be the next one.
Concert: Linkin Park, Fort Minor, Rock The World and a few more.
First crush: Like I told you before, I have never crushed anyone. Perhaps something but not someone. But if you are talking about pushing people into drains, yes I have.
Currently...
Eating: Nothing. I just had lunch. But I do feel like eating some meat.
Drinking: Nothing as well. But I do feel like having some coke.
I'm about to: Type the answer for this question.
Your future...
Want kids: Yes. Two in fact. So I could still drive a sports car and not a mini van.
Want to get married: I would love to. Absolutely.
Careers in mind: An explorer, a photographer, a writer. I want to own a Blues Bar someday and perhaps a few businesses here and there. I'd like to start charitable organizations and I also want to have my own Formula 1 team.
Which is better?
Lips or eyes?: It depends on when it is. I would prefer the lips if I were kissing and the eyes if I were gazing into them.
Hugs or kisses: Both would do. I'm not too demanding in that sense.
Shorter or taller?: Both are still fine with me. I'm not too particular.
Romantic or spontaneous: Both actually.
Sensitive or loud: It all depends on the situation.
Troublemaker or hesitant?: I love cheekiness, so yeah a troublemaker.
Have you ever....
Kissed a stranger?: Not to my knowledge.
Drank bubbles: I've drank Bubble tea.
Lost glasses/contacts: Loosing my eyeware was my forte. Thankfully, it no longer is.
Ran away from home: Not physically.
Liked someone younger: Yes.
Liked someone older: Yes.
Broke someone's heart: Definitely. Though, I'm not proud of it at all.
Been arrested: No. I wouldn't want to get into trouble with the cops.
Cried when someone died: Never did.
Do u believe in...
Yourself?: I wouldn't be here if I didn't.
Miracles: Miracles happen if you believe in them. I've seen some. So yes I do.
Heaven: In a symbolic way, yes. Afterall, heaven is what you make of it.
Santa Claus: If it makes someone happier and gives them hope that somewhere out there, someone still remembers them, and will be there for them, I do.
Magic: I don't believe in it or against it.
Angels: I see them everyday.
Answer truthfully..
Is there someone u want to be with right now?: Yes.
Do u believe in God?: Let's just say that I am happy being an observer of faiths.
Tag 5 ppl:
1)Sara
2)David
3)Elena
4)Jon
5)Rach
6)I know you said 5, but I'm feeling a little generous, so I would also love to tag anyone else who stubled upon this and wanted to answer it.
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
Smiley
I miss the days where I used to chain things up together and put them all in a pattern. A pattern which resembles the tides of my thoughts, the curves of my life and the waves of my emotions. Looking back on the days where I could, I suddenly feel a wave of emptiness. No longer can I secretly confess behind the thick maze of my patterns. Not because I don't want to, but because I have nothing to confess. When I was asked, I simply said no. I might have looked convicing, but deep down inside, I wasn't really sure if that was the case at all. Even now, I wouldn't be able to come up with a straight answer. I have arguments both for and against it but from where I stand, I really can't see who is winning or at times who the contenders are. I know, I'm so fickle minded. But that's what it is now. But back then, it was really obvious. But its like they say, to win a game of poker, you have to place a bet and read what the other guy is doing. And speaking of poker, it has been a while since I actually played a game of it. The last time I did was when we all had our blast at Penang. I want to do it again. But this time, no more fake money, or I'll have to dump you all in the sea and you can all be fish food. So much for a guy who claims poker cards to be his arch enemy eh?
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
Monday, March 10, 2008
Civil War
"What we've got here is failure to communicate.
Some men you just can't reach...
So, you get what we had here last week,
which is the way he wants it!
Well, he gets it!
N' I don't like it any more than you men." *
Look at your young men fighting
Look at your women crying
Look at your young men dying
The way they've always done before
Look at the hate we're breeding
Look at the fear we're feeding
Look at the lives we're leading
The way we've always done before
My hands are tied
The billions shift from side to side
And the wars go on with brainwashed pride
For the love of God and our human rights
And all these things are swept aside
By bloody hands time can't deny
And are washed away by your genocide
And history hides the lies of our civil wars
D'you wear a black armband
When they shot the man
Who said "Peace could last forever"
And in my first memories
They shot Kennedy
I went numb when I learned to see
So I never fell for Vietnam
We got the wall of D.C. to remind us all
That you can't trust freedom
When it's not in your hands
When everybody's fightin'
For their promised land
And
I don't need your civil war
It feeds the rich while it buries the poor
Your power hungry sellin' soldiers
In a human grocery store
Ain't that fresh
I don't need your civil war
Look at the shoes your filling
Look at the blood we're spilling
Look at the world we're killing
The way we've always done before
Look in the doubt we've wallowed
Look at the leaders we've followed
Look at the lies we've swallowed
And I don't want to hear no more
My hands are tied
For all I've seen has changed my mind
But still the wars go on as the years go by
With no love of God or human rights
'Cause all these dreams are swept aside
By bloody hands of the hypnotized
Who carry the cross of homicide
And history bears the scars of our civil wars
"We practice selective annihilation of mayors
And government officials
For example to create a vacuum
Then we fill that vacuum
As popular war advances
Peace is closer" **
I don't need your civil war
It feeds the rich while it buries the poor
Your power hungry sellin' soldiers
In a human grocery store
Ain't that fresh
And I don't need your civil war
I don't need your civil war
I don't need your civil war
Your power hungry sellin' soldiers
In a human grocery store
Ain't that fresh
I don't need your civil war
I don't need one more war
I don't need one more war
Whaz so civil 'bout war anyway
Sunday, March 9, 2008
The Eager Observer
Its always easy to become the observer. Being an active participant is never easy. As on observer, all you have to do is watch what is going on and come up with a suitable analysis of it for a later inspection. But to take on the role of an active participant is never easy. That role requires you to be there, right in the middle of it all. Making decisions that could determine the consequence of the action. Thinking of a point to keep things going on, to counter or to corroborate what has been said. To make the other party completely engaged in what is going on and the list just goes on and on. But as daunting as it may sound, as a keen observer, I've always relished the opportunity of being able to be right in the middle of it all. The prime mover in other words. Something like a Castro or a Kennedy or an Obama or someone who is just behind the scenes, doing what needs to be done, leading when it is best to lead and following whenever it is wise to do so. But by stating the previous sentence, in no way do I wish to imply that I have the credentials of the mentioned leaders, but they are stated only as a mere example to simplify an idea that is currently being put into words. Anyhow, the reason why I've always relished the chance to be top dog is simply to experience the intensity of being the one in charge of making something happen. But living in the middle of one right now, all I can say is that, its not easy. You have to deal with a whole lot of people with a whole lot of attitudes. Something that is never easy. While some people are easy to deal with, others can be a complete headache. And the only way to rope them in is to make them see reason, achievable only through sound reasoning and charisma. One of which seems to elude me at times of need. Second, you need to learn how to get tough with people. Tell them off whenever you have to without feeling a pinch of guilt. Something which has eluded me due to my constant need to please even though I have assured myself time after time that it is perhaps impossible to please everyone, all at the same time. The third is to deal with planning. Something which I think I am good at but I still lack the vision and self critique of greater planners and not to forget, the minor details that no one else would even remember to think off. And I think that it is problems like these that are hampering the progress of my project.
I really don't know who to turn to or what to do. Thankfully, from one side, things are going on, despite the need to push and shove. But unfortunately, so many other things are in jeopardy. So many things that I've dreamt of happening and have so confidently spoken about to others are now slowly disintegrating before my very eyes. And no matter how hard I try to fix the situation, it always seems to be getting worse off. Leaving me at a complete loss and often leading me into sleepless nights trying to figure out how to solve all these problems. And all these thinking has definitely led me to some very thought provoking questions. Are the people around me ready to take that extra mile, way out of their comfort zone in order to see something through? In order to live up to a commitment? Are the people around me paying me lip service just to look good? Are they good in the long run? Are they credible? Somehow, I'm starting to believe that the answer is no. They often talk of big things. But when it comes to executing them, they are the worlds biggest cowards. Favoring to live in a comfort zone instead of putting up a fight. They don't even wan to try. Often coming up with unfathomable excuses as to why it can't be done. And to be honest, I am already getting sick and tired of all these things. Sometimes I look at other people and feel jealous and frustrated of what they have, in terms of having a committed bunch. I feel jealous watching them progress day after day, pumping new ideas into their projects, having a good time in the process. I just can't understand why. I don't know what forces are at play, but all I know is that I want them to go away.
But yet, through all these difficulties, I still prefer to become the participant. It makes you grow old quicker, I don't know if its worth it, but all I know that it is definitely something. But then again, when I often make better observations than I do as a participant, I begin to ask myself just what am I really good at? The observer or the participant?
I really don't know who to turn to or what to do. Thankfully, from one side, things are going on, despite the need to push and shove. But unfortunately, so many other things are in jeopardy. So many things that I've dreamt of happening and have so confidently spoken about to others are now slowly disintegrating before my very eyes. And no matter how hard I try to fix the situation, it always seems to be getting worse off. Leaving me at a complete loss and often leading me into sleepless nights trying to figure out how to solve all these problems. And all these thinking has definitely led me to some very thought provoking questions. Are the people around me ready to take that extra mile, way out of their comfort zone in order to see something through? In order to live up to a commitment? Are the people around me paying me lip service just to look good? Are they good in the long run? Are they credible? Somehow, I'm starting to believe that the answer is no. They often talk of big things. But when it comes to executing them, they are the worlds biggest cowards. Favoring to live in a comfort zone instead of putting up a fight. They don't even wan to try. Often coming up with unfathomable excuses as to why it can't be done. And to be honest, I am already getting sick and tired of all these things. Sometimes I look at other people and feel jealous and frustrated of what they have, in terms of having a committed bunch. I feel jealous watching them progress day after day, pumping new ideas into their projects, having a good time in the process. I just can't understand why. I don't know what forces are at play, but all I know is that I want them to go away.
But yet, through all these difficulties, I still prefer to become the participant. It makes you grow old quicker, I don't know if its worth it, but all I know that it is definitely something. But then again, when I often make better observations than I do as a participant, I begin to ask myself just what am I really good at? The observer or the participant?
Saturday, March 8, 2008
Friday, March 7, 2008
Thursday, March 6, 2008
Bitter In Appearance
"You were lonely enough to tell me. But was I sympathetic enough to listen? I know I'm callous. But I already told you. It's either you or me."
As the deadline looms closer, I find myself with more and more untied ends. And the more I think about it, the more I realize just how much I've fallen behind. Always filled with dreams of grandeur, I know find myself struggling to complete even the most simplest of tasks. Struggling to even pull this team together. Facing the possibility of a downscaling even before the cards are played. Maybe, just maybe, I should do a John McCain and show to myself just how much more I have left in me. And as for the team, maybe, its time I spoke a little louder and show them just how much I have let them fall behind and ignore their responsibilities. And how I have mine.
As the deadline looms closer, I find myself with more and more untied ends. And the more I think about it, the more I realize just how much I've fallen behind. Always filled with dreams of grandeur, I know find myself struggling to complete even the most simplest of tasks. Struggling to even pull this team together. Facing the possibility of a downscaling even before the cards are played. Maybe, just maybe, I should do a John McCain and show to myself just how much more I have left in me. And as for the team, maybe, its time I spoke a little louder and show them just how much I have let them fall behind and ignore their responsibilities. And how I have mine.
Wednesday, March 5, 2008
Used
Getting used to a camera is like getting used to a formula 1 car. You don't know the car, you ain't going to win anything. Let alone score many points. And yes, I am currently in a Formula 1 fever and the only medicine available is to watch Formula 1. But that will only be in two weeks time. And yes, I can't wait to once again listen to the sound of 2.4 liter V8 engines at over 700bhp roar to life and race around some of the world's best race circuits.
Tuesday, March 4, 2008
Monday, March 3, 2008
My Last Day
On Sunday, while I was working, my manager J asked me what time my shift ended. I turned around and said that my shift ended at nine o'clock. He then said, "After your shift, I want to see you." Immediately, my mind started shifting into overdrive. All sorts of scenarios started playing out in my mind. But as usual, the worst scenarios took precedence. Was I about to be fired for taking quite a number of days of? Did any one of them see me and my gang running around Kuala Lumpur trying to complete tasks on the day that I had taken leave with the excuse that I had college activities? Or did one of them see me having fun at college when I skipped work because I had "extra classes"? Was it the swearing incident? I really didn't know what to expect. But then, just as I was beginning to think that all I was going to get was the axe, a more kinder thought came to my mind. It suddenly hit me that it was already the 3rd of March and I have not yet received my pay for the previous month and maybe, just maybe, J had wanted to give me my pay. Or at least, that's what I thought. Heck, it even got me smiling. But who would have ever known?
Then, when it was around 9.10, I punched out and I proceeded to look for J who was at manning the cash register. I went up to him and asked him the reason why he had wanted to see me. He looked at me and told me to wait outside. Without hesitating, I
took my bag and walked out of Big Apple and sat down at one of the coffee tables with my back facing the entrance to Big Apple. As I waited, my team leader, Sheila walked past me, giving me a slight smile before going back in. I returned the smile.
A couple of moments later, J walked out and sat opposite me. Without wanting to waste any time, I asked him what was up. He said, "I regret to have to tell you this, but the Datin doesn't want to hire anymore part timers. She wants to replace the whole bunch of you with full time staff. And therefore, Wednesday would be your last day at work. I really wouldn't mind having you around but this is the Datin's decision."
And at that moment, I really didn't know how to feel. It was like I was happy and rather disturbed at the same time. Happy because I could now have more time to do my other activities and disturbed because I was quite surprised at the way in which the whole matter was dealt with by the Datin. But nevertheless, I smiled and shook the managers hand the way I would normally do with my close friends. Because, I really respected him and I knew just how hard it was for him to break the news to me. Since day one, he always supported me and showed me due respect. And even during the swearing incident, I particularly respected the way in which he handled the situation. And I would like to take this opportunity to thank him as well as the others over at Big Apple for treating me as an equal.
And though, that day wasn't supposed to be my last day on the job, I decided the next day, five minutes before my shift started, that I didn't want to return for one last kick at Big Apple. Therefore making that Sunday my last day on the job. And eventhough, I did feel bad at the beginning, something else later on in the day helped ease my guilt of having to skip my last day of work. And that my friends, is nothing more than an empty North-South Highway and the Arctic Queen being under my control. I gave it a good beating at almost 120 km/h. But as usual, my mother made more noise than the car ever did. But with my dad cheering me on, I just had to keep on going. As they say, opportunities are far and sporadic. But when it comes to you, make full use of it and it will be you that smiles the widest. I know I did. I must have looked like a lunatic at that point. And as for you, the one who sent me the email with a picture of a mangled Kancil, you're email was the first thing that came to my mind when I was having all this fun. (You know who you are.)
But on a more smaller note, I think I am starting to understand just why people line up so long just to eat donuts.
Then, when it was around 9.10, I punched out and I proceeded to look for J who was at manning the cash register. I went up to him and asked him the reason why he had wanted to see me. He looked at me and told me to wait outside. Without hesitating, I
took my bag and walked out of Big Apple and sat down at one of the coffee tables with my back facing the entrance to Big Apple. As I waited, my team leader, Sheila walked past me, giving me a slight smile before going back in. I returned the smile.
A couple of moments later, J walked out and sat opposite me. Without wanting to waste any time, I asked him what was up. He said, "I regret to have to tell you this, but the Datin doesn't want to hire anymore part timers. She wants to replace the whole bunch of you with full time staff. And therefore, Wednesday would be your last day at work. I really wouldn't mind having you around but this is the Datin's decision."
And at that moment, I really didn't know how to feel. It was like I was happy and rather disturbed at the same time. Happy because I could now have more time to do my other activities and disturbed because I was quite surprised at the way in which the whole matter was dealt with by the Datin. But nevertheless, I smiled and shook the managers hand the way I would normally do with my close friends. Because, I really respected him and I knew just how hard it was for him to break the news to me. Since day one, he always supported me and showed me due respect. And even during the swearing incident, I particularly respected the way in which he handled the situation. And I would like to take this opportunity to thank him as well as the others over at Big Apple for treating me as an equal.
And though, that day wasn't supposed to be my last day on the job, I decided the next day, five minutes before my shift started, that I didn't want to return for one last kick at Big Apple. Therefore making that Sunday my last day on the job. And eventhough, I did feel bad at the beginning, something else later on in the day helped ease my guilt of having to skip my last day of work. And that my friends, is nothing more than an empty North-South Highway and the Arctic Queen being under my control. I gave it a good beating at almost 120 km/h. But as usual, my mother made more noise than the car ever did. But with my dad cheering me on, I just had to keep on going. As they say, opportunities are far and sporadic. But when it comes to you, make full use of it and it will be you that smiles the widest. I know I did. I must have looked like a lunatic at that point. And as for you, the one who sent me the email with a picture of a mangled Kancil, you're email was the first thing that came to my mind when I was having all this fun. (You know who you are.)
But on a more smaller note, I think I am starting to understand just why people line up so long just to eat donuts.
Sunday, March 2, 2008
Saturday, March 1, 2008
C-RAZE
At the end of the day, I think I achieved what quite a few people would label as insane. I downed a Carl's Junior burger in 4 minutes and still managed to feel as hungry as ever. And now, after this extremely long and arduous day, I am extremely tired. And yes, the whole thing was a bloody fiasco.
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