Sunday, November 8, 2009
Saturday, October 17, 2009
Almost Goodbye
As I'm typing this, Chester's new band, Dead By Sunrise is blasting from my earphones.
Music wise, it is definitely a departure from Linkin Park. Lyrically, the topics are about the same, but the difference in music just give the lyrics a whole new dimension. I like the honesty and simplicity in the music. I've always loved bands or musicians that have honest music, which or course is among my reasons for my absolute distaste for almost anything that I hear on mainstream radio these days. They're just not honest. They're just amazing at being extravagant pieces of lying rubbish.
I believe that honesty is an important quality in almost anything we do. Anything I do in fact. Which is why I no longer find it pleasurable to write my thoughts here. Try as hard as I may, its just almost impossible to be honest about what I really think and feel.
What I need is a world where I can be completely honest about everything. Where I can say and do the things I want to do without having to worry about anything or anyone.
Thing is, this place is no longer it. It hasn't been for quite some time, and now that now, more than in a long time, writing my thoughts down is exactly what I need to clear all the built up clutter in my head.
I want to wish this place goodbye.
But not just yet.
Music wise, it is definitely a departure from Linkin Park. Lyrically, the topics are about the same, but the difference in music just give the lyrics a whole new dimension. I like the honesty and simplicity in the music. I've always loved bands or musicians that have honest music, which or course is among my reasons for my absolute distaste for almost anything that I hear on mainstream radio these days. They're just not honest. They're just amazing at being extravagant pieces of lying rubbish.
I believe that honesty is an important quality in almost anything we do. Anything I do in fact. Which is why I no longer find it pleasurable to write my thoughts here. Try as hard as I may, its just almost impossible to be honest about what I really think and feel.
What I need is a world where I can be completely honest about everything. Where I can say and do the things I want to do without having to worry about anything or anyone.
Thing is, this place is no longer it. It hasn't been for quite some time, and now that now, more than in a long time, writing my thoughts down is exactly what I need to clear all the built up clutter in my head.
I want to wish this place goodbye.
But not just yet.
Thursday, October 1, 2009
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Signs
I walk on the horizon. And I love it. Being a jackass isn't the hardest thing on earth. I know. But it is the most fun thing to do. A problem? All that's needed is a sign. A universal sign. But then again, when your job is a diplomat, you just can't do that.
Saturday, September 19, 2009
Dark Symbolic
I finally found out what my favorite electronic music is called. It's called Euro Trance. I've always liked how it's always made me feel like a drunk narcotics junkie who has the presence of mind of an assassin that's about to assassinate his target in a nightclub packed with revelers, dancing around, oblivious to the loss of life that's about to take place. He doesn't know hie victim, and neither does the victim know him. It makes him feel like a person of great talent in killing, but also one that is so mentally disturbed, that salvation only lies in the sound of the next bullet leaving the muzzle of his gun, impacting his next victim, living another day to serve his boss's business empire. Every woman that makes contact with him is nothing more than a tool he can use to finish his next job. He goes around driving a black Mercedes E class, while wearing an expensive suit. All of this takes place in a nightclub somewhere in central Europe.
He has no family. He never knew his. He has no childhood, just a life of a grown man. He can't remember his past. All he knows is that, the vision he saw when he opened his eyes to the light of the world, he was dressed up, receiving his first instructions to kill, from his boss. That was the beginning of life for him.
But in spite of it all, he is still human. A human capable of compassion like no other. One who prays, and seeks guidance from the one above. One who believes in Karma. One who is ready to die a violent death for all that he has done.
It is this mental space that scares him. No one he knows has the ability to kill without hesitation, yet remain human. To feel emotions.
What is he?
Music means many things to many people. To some, it serves as a mirror. No one is safe from bipolar. Everyone has it, but only in varying degrees.
He has no family. He never knew his. He has no childhood, just a life of a grown man. He can't remember his past. All he knows is that, the vision he saw when he opened his eyes to the light of the world, he was dressed up, receiving his first instructions to kill, from his boss. That was the beginning of life for him.
But in spite of it all, he is still human. A human capable of compassion like no other. One who prays, and seeks guidance from the one above. One who believes in Karma. One who is ready to die a violent death for all that he has done.
It is this mental space that scares him. No one he knows has the ability to kill without hesitation, yet remain human. To feel emotions.
What is he?
Music means many things to many people. To some, it serves as a mirror. No one is safe from bipolar. Everyone has it, but only in varying degrees.
Friday, September 18, 2009
Shopper
I just realized one thing. I'm a comfort shopper. Like how some people like to eat when they're feeling the blues, I like to just go shopping and walk out of there with something that I like. But thankfully, though I am in love with items with price tags the size of Jupiter, I'm relatively easy to please. All that was needed to do the trick was a Disturbed shirt from the clearance section that cost me 5 bucks, and posters of Jimi Hendrix and Guns and Roses. I felt like Superman right after walking out of Volusia Mall. Seriously.
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Tuesday
Today was an awesome day.
First up, I got to play with this. A smoke wind tunnel. We were running experiments to determine the relationship between the airfoil angle of attack and the stagnation point.
But me being me, when I had the controls, I did this. =)
I turned the airfoil all the way up just for laughs. But instead, the whole class got into a serious discussion about stalling properties, and back pressure. If you were at Fridays listening to my half drunk speech about aircraft stalls, you would know what I'm talking about. But to keep it simple, if your wing is at this angle, you are going to fall out of the sky like a rock.
Then, later on in the night, I attended a concert:
It was an amazing concert. I got to see two of my favorite bands live in action, and they were awesome.
First up, I got to play with this. A smoke wind tunnel. We were running experiments to determine the relationship between the airfoil angle of attack and the stagnation point.
But me being me, when I had the controls, I did this. =)
I turned the airfoil all the way up just for laughs. But instead, the whole class got into a serious discussion about stalling properties, and back pressure. If you were at Fridays listening to my half drunk speech about aircraft stalls, you would know what I'm talking about. But to keep it simple, if your wing is at this angle, you are going to fall out of the sky like a rock.
Then, later on in the night, I attended a concert:
It was an amazing concert. I got to see two of my favorite bands live in action, and they were awesome.
Monday, September 14, 2009
Stars
These are the sounds of the night,
I'm walking home and there's no one there.
The stars are shining bright tonight,
And they're leading me into another world.
I'm walking home and there's no one there.
The stars are shining bright tonight,
And they're leading me into another world.
Saturday, September 12, 2009
Friday, September 11, 2009
Democracy
Sometimes, in a democracy, it is the very same people who advocate it who drive the leader to a path of dictatorship. A dictatorship not born out of greed, but a dictatorship born out of the need to get things done.
Bunch of donkey heads...
Bunch of donkey heads...
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Desire
Some things in life are just too good to remain a concept.
11 years on, I feel like that 9 year old kid I was all over again.
Breathe
For all the times that I sound stupid and silly, for when the times my face turns a blush of red, nothing beats the pleasure derived from what comes after. If this is the result of passion, then I'm ready for all the pain that comes with it. For this is the best I can ever ask for.
No longer do I want it in my dreams. No longer do I want it to be just another mirage set in my eyes. I want it to be the lush oasis in the middle of a barren desert. I want to feel it. I want it to be real. Something tangible.
Nothing beats the sensation of feeling the breath of dreams. I know I'm close.
I want to stay here for good. This is my home now.
No longer do I want it in my dreams. No longer do I want it to be just another mirage set in my eyes. I want it to be the lush oasis in the middle of a barren desert. I want to feel it. I want it to be real. Something tangible.
Nothing beats the sensation of feeling the breath of dreams. I know I'm close.
I want to stay here for good. This is my home now.
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Wind Tunnel
I got to play with this today. An open circuit wind tunnel. I can see myself spending my years sitting in front of this thing for a long time. The sound it makes is awesome. It's like the sound of an airplane thrusting its engine. And the data that comes off this thing is just phenomenal.
Ahh.. I love wind tunnels.
Monday, September 7, 2009
Stuck In Jacksonville
Cuz my baby's stuck in Jacksonville,
And the ringmaster ain't lettin' her go.
Cuz he said today's a holiday,
And no one's workin' the mail.
But tomorrow he said,
The trucks will roll,
And the men will work,
And your baby will come home to you.
Yeah, yeah,
My baby's comin' home.
Yeah yeah,
We're gonna rock the world,
Just you and me.
Cuz when the night is said and done,
And when the moon's shining bright,
We'll forever rule the world.
Oh yeah!
=D
And the ringmaster ain't lettin' her go.
Cuz he said today's a holiday,
And no one's workin' the mail.
But tomorrow he said,
The trucks will roll,
And the men will work,
And your baby will come home to you.
Yeah, yeah,
My baby's comin' home.
Yeah yeah,
We're gonna rock the world,
Just you and me.
Cuz when the night is said and done,
And when the moon's shining bright,
We'll forever rule the world.
Oh yeah!
=D
Sunday, September 6, 2009
Food
While on our way back from Orlando, upon seeing the exit sign to Daytona.
Me: Ahh... Home sweet home.
Jison: What? More like home shit home.
Haha
I went shopping at the Oriental Market at Orlando today. And let me tell you what, I completely suck at shopping for food. Seriously. I literally went around looking at stuff, and saying, "Oh, I think that looks cook-able" and just lob it into the trolley. I'd walk around and just put stuff in, just for the sake of putting stuff in. Now I have 2 trays of drumstick, a tray of chicken tenders, and I don't even know how to fry chicken!! But of course, the fish balls are for my Maggi mee and well, I've got other stuff too, but I completely forgot what they are. =P
Thank Slash for my room mate. He does all the cooking, and he's pretty good at it. Especially if it's meat.
I need to learn how to cook. Seriously. Whichever person who said that cooking is a woman's job is a real fag who deserves a kick up the pants.
Teach me, someone!!!
Ohh.. The drive to Orlando definitely has to be one of the scariest I've ever been in. Yes, not even being a passenger in a car that beat the red light on a busy intersection in KL was as scary.
Right now, we're in the middle of storm season, and when it rains, it rains pretty heavily. So, on our way to Orlando, it started to rain. Usually, when it rains heavily, drivers would slow down to more manageable speeds like around 60kph, and would take extra caution. But here, apparently, they don't. We were doing almost 130kph in a 2002 Corolla, on a slippery road, and we couldn't even see a couple of feet past our bonnet! Even if we wanted to slow down, we couldn't because every one around us was going just as fast, or even faster.Going any slower would have been the perfect recipe for disaster. What made it worse was the huge trailer trucks that were doing around 130kph pumping up copious amounts of water from their wheels and leaving a huge wall of spray in their wake. This created a whiteout. But as a person of science and aerodynamics, I immediately thought of difference in pressure. When an object is moving fast, it creates an area of low pressure around it. And this area of low pressure, if it is low enough, will have the ability to suck you towards that object. In other words, our low mass car, under the right conditions, could have been sucked towards those trucks, and a disaster could have happened. All it takes for one to happen, is just a reasonable pressure difference and bad tires. Going fast in the rain is one thing, but not being able to see where you're going or who is in front of you while speeding, and thinking of all the ways that things could go wrong is just crazy.
But thankfully nothing major happened.
Me: Ahh... Home sweet home.
Jison: What? More like home shit home.
Haha
I went shopping at the Oriental Market at Orlando today. And let me tell you what, I completely suck at shopping for food. Seriously. I literally went around looking at stuff, and saying, "Oh, I think that looks cook-able" and just lob it into the trolley. I'd walk around and just put stuff in, just for the sake of putting stuff in. Now I have 2 trays of drumstick, a tray of chicken tenders, and I don't even know how to fry chicken!! But of course, the fish balls are for my Maggi mee and well, I've got other stuff too, but I completely forgot what they are. =P
Thank Slash for my room mate. He does all the cooking, and he's pretty good at it. Especially if it's meat.
I need to learn how to cook. Seriously. Whichever person who said that cooking is a woman's job is a real fag who deserves a kick up the pants.
Teach me, someone!!!
Ohh.. The drive to Orlando definitely has to be one of the scariest I've ever been in. Yes, not even being a passenger in a car that beat the red light on a busy intersection in KL was as scary.
Right now, we're in the middle of storm season, and when it rains, it rains pretty heavily. So, on our way to Orlando, it started to rain. Usually, when it rains heavily, drivers would slow down to more manageable speeds like around 60kph, and would take extra caution. But here, apparently, they don't. We were doing almost 130kph in a 2002 Corolla, on a slippery road, and we couldn't even see a couple of feet past our bonnet! Even if we wanted to slow down, we couldn't because every one around us was going just as fast, or even faster.Going any slower would have been the perfect recipe for disaster. What made it worse was the huge trailer trucks that were doing around 130kph pumping up copious amounts of water from their wheels and leaving a huge wall of spray in their wake. This created a whiteout. But as a person of science and aerodynamics, I immediately thought of difference in pressure. When an object is moving fast, it creates an area of low pressure around it. And this area of low pressure, if it is low enough, will have the ability to suck you towards that object. In other words, our low mass car, under the right conditions, could have been sucked towards those trucks, and a disaster could have happened. All it takes for one to happen, is just a reasonable pressure difference and bad tires. Going fast in the rain is one thing, but not being able to see where you're going or who is in front of you while speeding, and thinking of all the ways that things could go wrong is just crazy.
But thankfully nothing major happened.
Friday, September 4, 2009
Ooohhhh
I think I should sleep early today. I've been sleeping late, and forcing myself to get out bed every morning for the past two days. Well, it's a good thing when you have nothing to do, but when you have tonnes to do and commit to, well, it isn't a good thing.
Come tomorrow, it will be two weeks since I left home. And how am I getting on so far? Two words. Absolutely great! Seriously. I'm getting more and more comfortable with this place as time goes on, and I'm really enjoying myself here, and for whatever reason, I don't miss home at all. Not one bit. But let's see what its like in a couple of weeks time.
In the mean time, off I go singing my favorite songs into the night again! lalalalala =D \m/
Come tomorrow, it will be two weeks since I left home. And how am I getting on so far? Two words. Absolutely great! Seriously. I'm getting more and more comfortable with this place as time goes on, and I'm really enjoying myself here, and for whatever reason, I don't miss home at all. Not one bit. But let's see what its like in a couple of weeks time.
In the mean time, off I go singing my favorite songs into the night again! lalalalala =D \m/
Faceless Man
I spent a day by the river
It was quiet and the wind stood still
I spent some time with nature
To remind me of all that's real
It's funny how silence speaks sometimes when you're alone
And remember that you feel
I said it's funny how silence speaks sometimes when you're alone
And remember that you feel
Again I stand, Lord I stand,
against the Faceless Man
Again I stand, Lord I stand,
against the Faceless Man
Now I saw a face on the water
It looked humble but willing to fight
I saw the will of a warrior
His yoke is easy and His burden is light
He looked me right in the eyes
Direct and concise to remind me
To always do what's right
He looked me right in the eyes
Direct and concise to remind me
To always do what's right
Again I stand. Lord I stand,
against the Faceless Man
Again I stand. Lord, God I stand,
against the Faceless Man
'Cause if the face inside can't see the light
I know I'll have to walk alone
And if I walk alone to the other side
I know I might not make it home
Again I stand, Lord I stand,
against the Faceless Man
Again I stand, Lord I stand,
against the Faceless Man
Next time I see this face
I'll say I choose to live for always
So won't you come inside And never go away
Next time I see this face
I'll say I choose to live for always
So won't you come inside And never go away
Again I stand, Lord I stand,
against the Faceless Man
Again I stand, Lord I stand,
against the Faceless Man
Again I stand, Lord I stand,
against the Faceless Man
-Creed-
It was quiet and the wind stood still
I spent some time with nature
To remind me of all that's real
It's funny how silence speaks sometimes when you're alone
And remember that you feel
I said it's funny how silence speaks sometimes when you're alone
And remember that you feel
Again I stand, Lord I stand,
against the Faceless Man
Again I stand, Lord I stand,
against the Faceless Man
Now I saw a face on the water
It looked humble but willing to fight
I saw the will of a warrior
His yoke is easy and His burden is light
He looked me right in the eyes
Direct and concise to remind me
To always do what's right
He looked me right in the eyes
Direct and concise to remind me
To always do what's right
Again I stand. Lord I stand,
against the Faceless Man
Again I stand. Lord, God I stand,
against the Faceless Man
'Cause if the face inside can't see the light
I know I'll have to walk alone
And if I walk alone to the other side
I know I might not make it home
Again I stand, Lord I stand,
against the Faceless Man
Again I stand, Lord I stand,
against the Faceless Man
Next time I see this face
I'll say I choose to live for always
So won't you come inside And never go away
Next time I see this face
I'll say I choose to live for always
So won't you come inside And never go away
Again I stand, Lord I stand,
against the Faceless Man
Again I stand, Lord I stand,
against the Faceless Man
Again I stand, Lord I stand,
against the Faceless Man
-Creed-
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
Born in 1988, Stuck In The 1970's
Tonight is pretty fresh. I dumped modern rock out of the window in favor of some 70's music. Stuff like the Doors, Hendrix, Zeppelin, Pink Floyd and Rolling Stones. Stuff like that are really calming in a weird way. It just brings my mind to think of scenes from the LSD days, right through to the sexual revolution. And right now, I wish that I was living in that era.
I know it sounds silly, but there's a certain appeal about that era that just draws me in. Maybe its the drugs, the protests, the music, the concerts, the social order, the sex and things like that. It represents a lot that I feel is missing in modern times. I think that modern culture lacks the romance, rebellion, creativity, diversity, and is just too polished and commercialized for its own good. There isn't much character to be found these days. Plus I feel that truth is becoming more and more of an under-appreciated gift in current times.
That's where my head is right now, and I like it.
I know it sounds silly, but there's a certain appeal about that era that just draws me in. Maybe its the drugs, the protests, the music, the concerts, the social order, the sex and things like that. It represents a lot that I feel is missing in modern times. I think that modern culture lacks the romance, rebellion, creativity, diversity, and is just too polished and commercialized for its own good. There isn't much character to be found these days. Plus I feel that truth is becoming more and more of an under-appreciated gift in current times.
That's where my head is right now, and I like it.
The Fixer
When somethings dark, let me shed a little light on it
When somethings cold, let me put a little fire on it
If somethings old, I wanna put a bit of shine on it
When somethings gone, I wanna fight to get it back again
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, fight to get it back again
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
When somethings broke, I wanna put a bit of fixin on it
When somethings bored, I wanna put a little exciting on it
If somethings low, I wanna put a little high on it
When somethings lost, I wanna fight to get it back again
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, fight to get it back again
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
When signals cross, I wanna put a little straight on it
If there's no love, I wanna try to love again
I’ll say your prayers, I’ll take your side
I'll find us a way to make light
I'll dig your grave, we'll dance and sing
What's saved could be one last lifetime
Hey, hey, hey
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, fight to get it back again
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Fight to get it back again, yeah, yeah, yeah
Fight to get it back again, yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
-Pearl Jam-
When somethings cold, let me put a little fire on it
If somethings old, I wanna put a bit of shine on it
When somethings gone, I wanna fight to get it back again
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, fight to get it back again
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
When somethings broke, I wanna put a bit of fixin on it
When somethings bored, I wanna put a little exciting on it
If somethings low, I wanna put a little high on it
When somethings lost, I wanna fight to get it back again
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, fight to get it back again
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
When signals cross, I wanna put a little straight on it
If there's no love, I wanna try to love again
I’ll say your prayers, I’ll take your side
I'll find us a way to make light
I'll dig your grave, we'll dance and sing
What's saved could be one last lifetime
Hey, hey, hey
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, fight to get it back again
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Fight to get it back again, yeah, yeah, yeah
Fight to get it back again, yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
-Pearl Jam-
Monday, August 31, 2009
Higher Tone Addiction
Music has been taking a center stage in my life lately, and I like it. It's something that I really can't explain. If there's one world that I enjoy immersing myself in, music has to be a really big part of it. Whether I'm making, or simply just listening to it, I feel right at home with it. It's what's keeping me awake right now in spite of my coming responsibilities. It's my cocaine, heroine,and ecstasy. The constant search for that perfect tune, the constant search for that perfect high. Nothing gets better than the next one. Maybe that's why I'm so disconnected from the outside world. I've always got something playing in my head. More than enough to drown out the voices of the people around me.
Now you know why I've got so little to say all the time. Now you know why I'm never there even though I physically am. Now you know the reasons for my varied expressions. Now you know why my mouth moves, my hands strums, and my head bangs eventhough there is no sound. It's because I've got a louder voice in my head that implores me to listen and act everytime it plays. A louder voice that implores me to search for that perfect high. It really is an addiction. An addiction that I don't know whether or not to look for a cure.
Happy Mer-Dead-Cow.
Now you know why I've got so little to say all the time. Now you know why I'm never there even though I physically am. Now you know the reasons for my varied expressions. Now you know why my mouth moves, my hands strums, and my head bangs eventhough there is no sound. It's because I've got a louder voice in my head that implores me to listen and act everytime it plays. A louder voice that implores me to search for that perfect high. It really is an addiction. An addiction that I don't know whether or not to look for a cure.
Happy Mer-Dead-Cow.
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