The date is the 10th of January 2006...i mean 7. 2007. And the day is Wednesday. The time, exactly 5.05. Its barely reached the midpoint of the week and I'm already feeling extremely worn out. And I'm facing the daunting prospect of spending the entire weekend behind tonnes of books.
You see, as of today, I already have a long list of tasks that needs completing and I'm expecting more to come. Sad I know. I have a physics quiz tomorrow. One that I have yet to study for, but I still remain bullish about my chances. Then there is the Calculus 2 quiz this friday. I did my homework twice already and I stll feel like I need to do more. Somehow, I'm never satisfied, no matter how prepared I am. Not that I'm complaining, but I guess thats what success stories are made from right? Well, not only that, I have just been chosen to organize the MPO trip which will be happening pretty soon. And I doubt that I will be getting any sleep over it. But then again, I guess that sacrifices have to be made in order to gain success right? Afterall, my ultimate target to gain presidency of the Music Club still remains as strong as ever.
Fortunately, I will have some breathing space available tomorrow as I only have physics class which I hope will finish before 10. Thus allowing me to have more time to prepare for my other unfinished tasks. So, I do hope that I continue to have a good week ahead of me and that nohing would hinder me from current jobs at hand.
But as of now, I feel really exhausted and I have got no choice but to go and study soon.
Wednesday, January 10, 2007
Tuesday, January 9, 2007
Writing? Math? Aaargh! What am I Saying?
Ahh...a new day, a new entry. The same old routine for the past few weeks. But what can I say? I enjoy it. I enjoy tapping away on my laptop's keyboard to put my thoughts or whatever ramblings I may have into words. I enjoy it so much to the point that I'm nearly obsessed by it. But don't worry, I ain't gonna turn into some mad scientist with grey hair sticking all over my head because of it. Truth be told, writing is and will always remain as one of the most genious invention of the human race. But enough said. I'm sure you want to listen to me raving on and on about writing. It'll bore you to death! So, guess I'll just let you know bout my fairly interesting and tiring evening.
Since the hour of two and seconds zero zero, I have been doing MATH!!! Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I have been sitting in front of a wooden study table while staring and attempting to solve numbers. Boring right? NO way!! How can math ever be boring? Are you crazy? If it weren't for math, try imagine what would this world be like? Fun you say? Well guess what? I think you're wrong. Because, if it weren't for math, you wouldn't be sitting here and enjoying whatever it is that you enjoy. No live TV, no computer, no aeroplanes, no sports, no handphone, no make up, no nothing! Not even clothes for god sake. Now wouldn't that be fun? So you see, as boring as it may seem, math is interesting and math gives life. So do it with pride and never say you hate math. For the very clothes that you are wearing depends on it. Damn...guess I'd better shut up... All these numbers are making me crazy!! But what can I do? I have a quiz this Friday! I pray I don't go mad by then....Wish me luck....hhehe....lol
Since the hour of two and seconds zero zero, I have been doing MATH!!! Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I have been sitting in front of a wooden study table while staring and attempting to solve numbers. Boring right? NO way!! How can math ever be boring? Are you crazy? If it weren't for math, try imagine what would this world be like? Fun you say? Well guess what? I think you're wrong. Because, if it weren't for math, you wouldn't be sitting here and enjoying whatever it is that you enjoy. No live TV, no computer, no aeroplanes, no sports, no handphone, no make up, no nothing! Not even clothes for god sake. Now wouldn't that be fun? So you see, as boring as it may seem, math is interesting and math gives life. So do it with pride and never say you hate math. For the very clothes that you are wearing depends on it. Damn...guess I'd better shut up... All these numbers are making me crazy!! But what can I do? I have a quiz this Friday! I pray I don't go mad by then....Wish me luck....hhehe....lol
Monday, January 8, 2007
Everyday Combat
I fell like time will tell,
But time is too slow.
Maybe I should just ask,
But I guess I'm too polite.
Perhaps I should dig.
Digging is my forte,
But I think its rude.
But I can't help it.
The more I dig,
The more I find.
But, the find never amuses.
But then again,
Those are mere theories,
Formulated without experiments.
But I shall never know for sure.
Maybe I should just ask.
It is my everyday combat.
But would you forgive me?
But time is too slow.
Maybe I should just ask,
But I guess I'm too polite.
Perhaps I should dig.
Digging is my forte,
But I think its rude.
But I can't help it.
The more I dig,
The more I find.
But, the find never amuses.
But then again,
Those are mere theories,
Formulated without experiments.
But I shall never know for sure.
Maybe I should just ask.
It is my everyday combat.
But would you forgive me?
When Dreams Become Hauntingly Real
Writing this one is going to be rather difficult task as I really don't know how to put what I am about to say into words for what I am about to say is quite unconventional for a 19 year old and would either make me look like a fool or some clairvoyant. I definitely hope for the latter. But I have one question that really needs to be answered. What would you do if your dreams,good or bad, really turns out true and exactly as they had played out in your dreams? Everything the same. The people, the voices, the events, everything... even the time and month. What would you do?
Well, this is what has happened to me quite a few times in the past few years and about two nights ago. I don't know how or for what reason, but I have on certain occasions dreamt of the future, and on most occasions, events have turned out exactly the way I had dreamt it. Everything was the same. A few of these dreams have served as warnings of things to come. And right on cue, they happen.
On one occasion, I dreamt of receiving my exam results from my lecturer. In that dream, I was sitting in the second row behind S who was dressed in a blue shirt. Beside me were TC and CL. As the class proceeded, Ms.SN turned around and started to hand us back our exam papers. I remember her passing my paper to S. S then looked at it and handed it to me while saying 'There. Heres's your paper' and smiled. I took it and quickly glanced up to the right hand corner of the paper. And on it were my marks written in red ink. Of course, I will not reveal my marks, but they were quite shabby. And at that instant I looked up and looked around. Then, after that, I had another dream. When I woke up the next morning, I vividly remembered the dream with haunting detail and precision. I even remembered who said what and who wore what and who sat where. And all of this happened two days before I was to collect my results. Naturally, having been through similar occurrences in the past, I was silently perplexed. I kept on asking to myself what could all of this mean? Could it be true like how the others have been? All my questions were answered when I picked up my results. The way I had received my paper was exactly the way it had played out in my dream and the marks were exactly the same. Even the speeches that went along with it were real. Of course, I was flabbergasted.
This has not happened once or twice, but on countless occasions. More then I can ever count.
But what scares me most is that recently, two days ago, I had a dream. In this dream something bad happened. I had a similar dream last year and it came true. But if this dream were true, I fear that I might loose a friend of mine to tragic circumstances. No, she will not meet her end. But something else will happen. Something that I am too frightened to even speak about. Something that I can never imagine happen. NO, I am not fabricating any part of this post. Though I wish I was.
I know that by know you must be thinking of me as a fool of some sort. But think or say what you will, for when the month reaches... , I will know the answer. Though I wish I am wrong. I am more willing to let you laugh at me then to have these events unfold.
Well, this is what has happened to me quite a few times in the past few years and about two nights ago. I don't know how or for what reason, but I have on certain occasions dreamt of the future, and on most occasions, events have turned out exactly the way I had dreamt it. Everything was the same. A few of these dreams have served as warnings of things to come. And right on cue, they happen.
On one occasion, I dreamt of receiving my exam results from my lecturer. In that dream, I was sitting in the second row behind S who was dressed in a blue shirt. Beside me were TC and CL. As the class proceeded, Ms.SN turned around and started to hand us back our exam papers. I remember her passing my paper to S. S then looked at it and handed it to me while saying 'There. Heres's your paper' and smiled. I took it and quickly glanced up to the right hand corner of the paper. And on it were my marks written in red ink. Of course, I will not reveal my marks, but they were quite shabby. And at that instant I looked up and looked around. Then, after that, I had another dream. When I woke up the next morning, I vividly remembered the dream with haunting detail and precision. I even remembered who said what and who wore what and who sat where. And all of this happened two days before I was to collect my results. Naturally, having been through similar occurrences in the past, I was silently perplexed. I kept on asking to myself what could all of this mean? Could it be true like how the others have been? All my questions were answered when I picked up my results. The way I had received my paper was exactly the way it had played out in my dream and the marks were exactly the same. Even the speeches that went along with it were real. Of course, I was flabbergasted.
This has not happened once or twice, but on countless occasions. More then I can ever count.
But what scares me most is that recently, two days ago, I had a dream. In this dream something bad happened. I had a similar dream last year and it came true. But if this dream were true, I fear that I might loose a friend of mine to tragic circumstances. No, she will not meet her end. But something else will happen. Something that I am too frightened to even speak about. Something that I can never imagine happen. NO, I am not fabricating any part of this post. Though I wish I was.
I know that by know you must be thinking of me as a fool of some sort. But think or say what you will, for when the month reaches... , I will know the answer. Though I wish I am wrong. I am more willing to let you laugh at me then to have these events unfold.
Sunday, January 7, 2007
The Malaysian Dilemma
I know that this might come a little too early in the year, but I honestly cannot feel overly exasperated by what I see around me. Therefore I feel like I have to speak about it. As you prepare to punch our fists up in the air to celebrate the nations 50th birthday, or as how some of you may view it, but I'd like to think of it as a holiday that saves my back from being broken by unruly people who want to take revenge on me for beating their backs during their birthdays.Merdeka = Week long holiday = No college = NO whack on the back! Anyways, here are a few Malaysian Dilemmas, as I would like to call it, for you to ponder. The first two are rather elementary but the dilemmas No.3 and 4 are rather interesting.
Dilemma 1: The Malasyian Timing.
Well, here's a scenario.
A man sets an appointment with his friend for 3.00 at a particular place. Half an hour after the scheduled time, his friend is nowhere to be seen. He gives a call to check on his whereabouts, and this would be his answer. 'Dei thambi! 5 minutes more I come. I at traffic light. Very big jam. Wait ar!' Upon hearing of the excuse,he waits and waits and waits until a further half hour has ticked away. Worried, he calls again, only to get the same response. And in the end, his friend comes about an hour later, barely apologizing for his delay. Therefore it seems to me that its either the Malaysian education system is rather hopeless at teaching students how to decipher the clock or Malaysians have blatant disregard for common civility, punctuality and severe disrespect towards a persons time. This didn't happen during the British rule.
Dilemma 2: Mang-lish
You see in Malaysia, there is this very popular food. Its called 'Rojak'. Its a kind of food in which anything and everything is mixed together under a blanket of brown gravy and it usually goes well with 'cendol', another popular drink. Just like how they eat that food, they speak and write the English language or any language for that matter. They even deface the national language for gods sake. Fortunately, being a resident in this country for 19 years, which is my second last year here, I am able to decipher what they speak. What about the foriegners? How do you expect them to understand what you are saying? I mean, its OK to speak broken English. But don't get edgy every time someone tries to correct you and worst of all don't be too proud of it. Calling It your beloved Malaysian English. Manglish in short. It only serves to point you out as an idiot who doesn't now what to be proud off. Its like saying 'I'm proud of Hitler because he killed 6 million Jews!! Yay!' Look at the Arabs. They speak broken English. But what separates them from Malaysians is that they constantly seek ways and means to improve their command of the language.
Dilemma 3: Yes mates! We Take Backward Steps. 2020 B.C. Ahoy!
Back in the 80's there was this 'senile' old man who set a target for Malaysia. He called it Vision 2020. What he meant was that Malaysia would reach a developed status by the year 2020. Seem like a long time more ain't it? Well, only if you think that 14 more years would come and go like a century. If you have noticed, other Islamic countries like Dubai, Oman and the Gulf Regions, save for Saudi Arabia have already reached the 80-90 percent developed status. And what puts Malaysia to shame is that, they have done it in a far less time period. They, despite a host of seemingly impossible problems, have manage to wrestle the feat and pin it in a little over a decade. They have turned the desert into a beautiful oasis fit for kings. Marvellous now ain't it? But in Malaysia, they have been struggling for the last 50 years to even reach 50 percent developed status. Furthermore, those countries have far less natural resources as compared to Malaysia. Their oil grade is not as good as Malaysia's. And to make matters worse, the heat in their country is so unbearable during the summer that a large portion of their money is spent on air conditioning. Not to mention their desert terrain and the desert storms. They have most certainly put Malaysia to shame by accomplishing this feat. And if you are hoping that Malaysia will reach its 2020, I'd suggest that you'd better stop hoping. For as long as Malaysia has corrupt politicians who only care about the size of their pockets and the amount of titles they have, and mind you that our titles are not internationally recognized, the Agong was addressed as Mr.DYMM by a doctor at a foriegn hospital, Malaysia will never reach 2020. What this implies is that, instead of taking forward steps, Malaysia is proudly taking backward steps. Read the news papers. Their NAP policy will make you fall of your chair. Recently, President Bush asked Malaysia's PM as to what the NAP is all about and unsurprisingly, he couldn't answer the question! Perhaps the next dilemma will further ridicule the nation.
Dilemma 4: Where have our priorities gone?
Recently, there has been a spate of highly controversial yet shallow minded issues against women. In a nutshell, women are to be blamed if they get raped. Now what kind of bastard would think like that? Honestly, by saying this, they imply that men useless fools who are unable to control their urges when they see a woman and they are akin to lunatics who should be thrown into the mental asylum a.k.a Tanjung Rambutan and left to rot for all eternity. And to make matters worse, it has become a bloody topic in the Parliamentary debates! Once, this dude said that only ugly women should be allowed to hold jobs. Perhaps we should all ask him of his definition about ugly. For in my eyes, all women are beautiful. Size and looks really don't matter to me. Anyway, back to the point. Instead of arguing about how to further develop this country and look forward to a brighter future, these people are arguing about how long a woman's skirt should be. If this were a strip club, I wouldn't give a damn. But this is the bloody parliament for gods sake! Where have all their sense gone to? It really comes to show how shallow minded the Malaysian politicians are in their daily dealings and how much in danger they are of getting their priorities wrong and leading Malaysia into the wrong track. To make matters worse, an Islamic state to the north has passed a law that women wearing revealing clothes like body hugging suits or short skirts will be fined. Another testament to Malaysian stupidity. Furthermore, what right do they have to determine how much skin a woman is allowed to display. In my opinion, the amount of skin shown by a woman is highly personal and should be the judgement of the woman herself. I honestly don't know how Malaysia is supposed to go forward by solving trivial and unimportant issues like this one. Look at the Arabs. The reason they are so advanced is that they look at the bigger picture. They don't try to be moral polices. I was in Doha recently for a stopover in my flight to Egypt and what I saw was amazing. Liqueur was sold in the open. Suggestive pictures were on CD covers, there were no censorship laws and the women were blazing! Yet, they are light years ahead of Malaysia. Don't forget, Qatar is an Islamic country too.
Of course there are more dilemmas that I would like to point out and I would certainly be so happy to do so when I find the time. But after reading all this, I certainly don't know how or why anyone can be proud of being a Malaysian?
Dilemma 1: The Malasyian Timing.
Well, here's a scenario.
A man sets an appointment with his friend for 3.00 at a particular place. Half an hour after the scheduled time, his friend is nowhere to be seen. He gives a call to check on his whereabouts, and this would be his answer. 'Dei thambi! 5 minutes more I come. I at traffic light. Very big jam. Wait ar!' Upon hearing of the excuse,he waits and waits and waits until a further half hour has ticked away. Worried, he calls again, only to get the same response. And in the end, his friend comes about an hour later, barely apologizing for his delay. Therefore it seems to me that its either the Malaysian education system is rather hopeless at teaching students how to decipher the clock or Malaysians have blatant disregard for common civility, punctuality and severe disrespect towards a persons time. This didn't happen during the British rule.
Dilemma 2: Mang-lish
You see in Malaysia, there is this very popular food. Its called 'Rojak'. Its a kind of food in which anything and everything is mixed together under a blanket of brown gravy and it usually goes well with 'cendol', another popular drink. Just like how they eat that food, they speak and write the English language or any language for that matter. They even deface the national language for gods sake. Fortunately, being a resident in this country for 19 years, which is my second last year here, I am able to decipher what they speak. What about the foriegners? How do you expect them to understand what you are saying? I mean, its OK to speak broken English. But don't get edgy every time someone tries to correct you and worst of all don't be too proud of it. Calling It your beloved Malaysian English. Manglish in short. It only serves to point you out as an idiot who doesn't now what to be proud off. Its like saying 'I'm proud of Hitler because he killed 6 million Jews!! Yay!' Look at the Arabs. They speak broken English. But what separates them from Malaysians is that they constantly seek ways and means to improve their command of the language.
Dilemma 3: Yes mates! We Take Backward Steps. 2020 B.C. Ahoy!
Back in the 80's there was this 'senile' old man who set a target for Malaysia. He called it Vision 2020. What he meant was that Malaysia would reach a developed status by the year 2020. Seem like a long time more ain't it? Well, only if you think that 14 more years would come and go like a century. If you have noticed, other Islamic countries like Dubai, Oman and the Gulf Regions, save for Saudi Arabia have already reached the 80-90 percent developed status. And what puts Malaysia to shame is that, they have done it in a far less time period. They, despite a host of seemingly impossible problems, have manage to wrestle the feat and pin it in a little over a decade. They have turned the desert into a beautiful oasis fit for kings. Marvellous now ain't it? But in Malaysia, they have been struggling for the last 50 years to even reach 50 percent developed status. Furthermore, those countries have far less natural resources as compared to Malaysia. Their oil grade is not as good as Malaysia's. And to make matters worse, the heat in their country is so unbearable during the summer that a large portion of their money is spent on air conditioning. Not to mention their desert terrain and the desert storms. They have most certainly put Malaysia to shame by accomplishing this feat. And if you are hoping that Malaysia will reach its 2020, I'd suggest that you'd better stop hoping. For as long as Malaysia has corrupt politicians who only care about the size of their pockets and the amount of titles they have, and mind you that our titles are not internationally recognized, the Agong was addressed as Mr.DYMM by a doctor at a foriegn hospital, Malaysia will never reach 2020. What this implies is that, instead of taking forward steps, Malaysia is proudly taking backward steps. Read the news papers. Their NAP policy will make you fall of your chair. Recently, President Bush asked Malaysia's PM as to what the NAP is all about and unsurprisingly, he couldn't answer the question! Perhaps the next dilemma will further ridicule the nation.
Dilemma 4: Where have our priorities gone?
Recently, there has been a spate of highly controversial yet shallow minded issues against women. In a nutshell, women are to be blamed if they get raped. Now what kind of bastard would think like that? Honestly, by saying this, they imply that men useless fools who are unable to control their urges when they see a woman and they are akin to lunatics who should be thrown into the mental asylum a.k.a Tanjung Rambutan and left to rot for all eternity. And to make matters worse, it has become a bloody topic in the Parliamentary debates! Once, this dude said that only ugly women should be allowed to hold jobs. Perhaps we should all ask him of his definition about ugly. For in my eyes, all women are beautiful. Size and looks really don't matter to me. Anyway, back to the point. Instead of arguing about how to further develop this country and look forward to a brighter future, these people are arguing about how long a woman's skirt should be. If this were a strip club, I wouldn't give a damn. But this is the bloody parliament for gods sake! Where have all their sense gone to? It really comes to show how shallow minded the Malaysian politicians are in their daily dealings and how much in danger they are of getting their priorities wrong and leading Malaysia into the wrong track. To make matters worse, an Islamic state to the north has passed a law that women wearing revealing clothes like body hugging suits or short skirts will be fined. Another testament to Malaysian stupidity. Furthermore, what right do they have to determine how much skin a woman is allowed to display. In my opinion, the amount of skin shown by a woman is highly personal and should be the judgement of the woman herself. I honestly don't know how Malaysia is supposed to go forward by solving trivial and unimportant issues like this one. Look at the Arabs. The reason they are so advanced is that they look at the bigger picture. They don't try to be moral polices. I was in Doha recently for a stopover in my flight to Egypt and what I saw was amazing. Liqueur was sold in the open. Suggestive pictures were on CD covers, there were no censorship laws and the women were blazing! Yet, they are light years ahead of Malaysia. Don't forget, Qatar is an Islamic country too.
Of course there are more dilemmas that I would like to point out and I would certainly be so happy to do so when I find the time. But after reading all this, I certainly don't know how or why anyone can be proud of being a Malaysian?
Saturday, January 6, 2007
What I have Learnt So Far
Things that I have learnt in the first week of 2007.
1. Waking up too early in the morning is a sin! Big time
2. The stupid quake has caused a communication breakdown in my corner.
3. Never jump to conclusions. It severs relationships and causes poetic mayhem.
4. Economics is not as bad as I thought it would be.
5. Dr. William Borges is an excelent lecturer.
6. I have forgotten a huge portion of my Physics over the past year.
7. I'm an insane blogger. I did 8 posts in 6 days. More then anyone I know.
8. Time passes by really slowly. I really wanna get to the end of the year.
9. My fingers feel like they are on crack.
10.Finding the right one takes years. It took me years to realise!
11.And when you do, you screw up. Big Time!.
12.But then you never really did screw up. You just feel like you did. Somehow.
13.You'd trade anything just to see the person even for a minute. Everything else doesn't seem to matter anymore.
14.So bad that you can't stop dreaming of the person.
15.And when you do, you just don't wanna wake up.
16.And from it I learnt that life is bittersweet. I love both the bitter and the sweet.
17.Not to forget David's grandma. She fell ill. But I learnt that she is doing better now. Thankfully.
18.Sometimes Its hard to say what I really feel because my words seem too good to be true. So much so that they seem fake. I honestly feel that way, I do, but I guess I'd better tone down.
19. Smashing Pumpkins are reuniting and going on tour in 2008.
Ahh...thats about all... I really don't know what else I learnt. But learning is a lifelong journey. Its one classroom that no one can escape from. Too bad its teacher ain't Jessica Alba or Bridget Monaghan..hehe
1. Waking up too early in the morning is a sin! Big time
2. The stupid quake has caused a communication breakdown in my corner.
3. Never jump to conclusions. It severs relationships and causes poetic mayhem.
4. Economics is not as bad as I thought it would be.
5. Dr. William Borges is an excelent lecturer.
6. I have forgotten a huge portion of my Physics over the past year.
7. I'm an insane blogger. I did 8 posts in 6 days. More then anyone I know.
8. Time passes by really slowly. I really wanna get to the end of the year.
9. My fingers feel like they are on crack.
10.Finding the right one takes years. It took me years to realise!
11.And when you do, you screw up. Big Time!.
12.But then you never really did screw up. You just feel like you did. Somehow.
13.You'd trade anything just to see the person even for a minute. Everything else doesn't seem to matter anymore.
14.So bad that you can't stop dreaming of the person.
15.And when you do, you just don't wanna wake up.
16.And from it I learnt that life is bittersweet. I love both the bitter and the sweet.
17.Not to forget David's grandma. She fell ill. But I learnt that she is doing better now. Thankfully.
18.Sometimes Its hard to say what I really feel because my words seem too good to be true. So much so that they seem fake. I honestly feel that way, I do, but I guess I'd better tone down.
19. Smashing Pumpkins are reuniting and going on tour in 2008.
Ahh...thats about all... I really don't know what else I learnt. But learning is a lifelong journey. Its one classroom that no one can escape from. Too bad its teacher ain't Jessica Alba or Bridget Monaghan..hehe
Friday, January 5, 2007
The Reincarnation Of Benjamin Breeg
Let me tell you about my life
Let me tell you about my dreams
Let me tell you about the things that happen
Always real to me
Let me tell you of my hope
Of my need to reach the sky
Let me take you on an awkward journey
Let me tell you why
Let me tell you why
Why should these curses be laid upon me
I won't be forgiven 'till I can brake free
What did I do to deserve all this guilt
Pay for my sins with the sale of my soul
Demons are trapped all inside of my head
My hopes are gone reach for heaven from hell
My sins are many my guilt is too heavy
The pressure of knowing of hiding what I know
I'm able to see things
Things I don't want to see
The lives of a thousand souls
Weigh heavy down on me
I know they're crying for help reaching out
The burden of them will take me down as well
The sin of a thousand souls not died in vain
Reincarnate still in me live again
Someone to save me
Something to save me from myself
To bring the salvation
To exorcise this hell
Someone to save me
Something to save me from myself
To bring the salvation
To exorcise this hell
Someone to save me
Something to save me from my hell
A destination
Away from this nightmare
Someone to save me
Something to save me from myself
To bring the salvation
To exorcise this hell
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