Saturday, January 13, 2007
Letters Written With Blood
Its kind of amazing how words,no matter how simple it is, can really change a persons point of view or even melt one to bits in a matter of seconds. Moments ago, I had intended to write an entry titled 'The Fallout'. I had dreamt of and carefully constructed its words for almost 2 days. I remember falling into an abstraction for about 30 minutes in the bathroom while taking a bath. The events that occurred in 'The Fallout' engendered emotions that I never thought I could feel. The words for the intended post consumed me so much that time just flew by me and not to mention the expensive water bill that my parents are about to incur at the end of the month due to my long escapades in the bathroom. Sometimes, I would walk around in a dazed state. My body and mind were in two different places. And I have been called mad because of it. Imagine seeing someone smiling and frowning for no reason, unaccompanied, all in a matter of minutes. That was me. But all those feelings, all those words, all those time spent came to nothing a mere moments ago when I read it. Maybe I will write 'The Fallout' after all. But, its words will lay bare before you without the fiery passion that had engulfed its existence exactly from the moment of its conception right up to the moment of its seemingly inevitable creation. I will write it. I will write it to bear testament to how destructive a humans mind can get when faced with uncertainty. I will write it to bear testament to the excoriation and retortful statements that I made towards an innocent soul who made a mistake created by myself. Sometimes, so very often have I wondered, how I could I have possibly given life to such contemptuous words and feelings towards the person who innocently stood by me like a pole and who gave me so many things to smile about. Perhaps this will teach us all, a lesson that will save all of us from the gibbets of unnecessary obloquy and subverted contempt and prejudice towards events that ambiguates the intentions of a person and the person itself or at least what we see out of those events.
Friday, January 12, 2007
Math is Fun!!
I just finished answering my Calculus 2 quiz. And fortunately, my lawyer was bloody good in court and my weapons were enough to destroy the enemy!! So with that, the jury might be tempted to prove me innocent after all. If you have read the previous post, you'd understand what i mean. But anyhow, today was really cool. Because for the first time in history, I actually managed to score a perfect 10 over 10 for my Physics quiz. What a relief! I thought I would score only 5 for the quiz! But looking back on how the past 3 semesters in college have gone, its really amazing to see how I have transformed from 'The most under performing student in class' into one of the better few. Hopefully, I'll be able to keep this momentum on for the rest of my life!
But apart from that, for the umpteenth time, I FOUND MY DOG AND LOST IT AGAIN! All in the same day. Sad, I know. For some reason or another, I seem to be loosing my dog so very often. Though, I've fenced up my entire compound, she still manages to escape.Sigh.
Ahh, not to forget, I managed to watch the entire Hiroshima series on Discovery. Pretty touching indeed. Especially during the aftermath of the bombing. But don't get me wrong here. I think that the dropping of the bomb really did save more lives than it had actually killed. If they did not drop the bombs, more people and soldiers would have been killed due to a possible invasion of the Japanese Islands by the Allied Forces. And the war planners expected deaths of over 2 million people. The bombs only killed about 100 odd thousand people. In fact, if we were to analyze the happenings of that day, it was the Japanese Prime Minister, Suzuki's fault that the bombs were dropped. You see before the bombs were dropped, the Allies gave the Japs an ultimatum to surrender unconditionally or to face more violent fighting. Suzuki did not respond to this ultimatum and which lead to the inevitable bombing of Hiroshima. He could have prevented another bomb from being dropped on Nagasaki, but once again, his stubbornness was paid for with the lives of 50000 Japanese civilians. But honestly, this subject would be better debated face to face.
But apart from that, for the umpteenth time, I FOUND MY DOG AND LOST IT AGAIN! All in the same day. Sad, I know. For some reason or another, I seem to be loosing my dog so very often. Though, I've fenced up my entire compound, she still manages to escape.Sigh.
Ahh, not to forget, I managed to watch the entire Hiroshima series on Discovery. Pretty touching indeed. Especially during the aftermath of the bombing. But don't get me wrong here. I think that the dropping of the bomb really did save more lives than it had actually killed. If they did not drop the bombs, more people and soldiers would have been killed due to a possible invasion of the Japanese Islands by the Allied Forces. And the war planners expected deaths of over 2 million people. The bombs only killed about 100 odd thousand people. In fact, if we were to analyze the happenings of that day, it was the Japanese Prime Minister, Suzuki's fault that the bombs were dropped. You see before the bombs were dropped, the Allies gave the Japs an ultimatum to surrender unconditionally or to face more violent fighting. Suzuki did not respond to this ultimatum and which lead to the inevitable bombing of Hiroshima. He could have prevented another bomb from being dropped on Nagasaki, but once again, his stubbornness was paid for with the lives of 50000 Japanese civilians. But honestly, this subject would be better debated face to face.
Of Cold Sweat and Demon Judges
The time is now 9.15. My heart seems to have shifted into 7th gear, racing down the streets of nervousness at speeds of up to 345 kilometers per hour. In about 3 hours time, I'll be sitting for my calculus quiz. Though the weight age of the quiz is not very heavy, every mark still counts. I speak of this from past experience. If only I did not loose 5 marks due to careless mistakes in the previous semester, I would have gotten an much needed A for calculus instead. But I ended up with a B.
My hands tremble as I break out in cold sweat. My palms as wet as a swamp. All these happen I soak up the much enjoyed pressure of my need to stay at the top. I have prepared for it as much as I possibly could. But now, I have to face the judge. But I will face him with courage, for I understand that I carry with me all the weapons that I will ever need to win the case. My lawyer to is insanely imaginative. So, I guess I'll see you all in court.
My hands tremble as I break out in cold sweat. My palms as wet as a swamp. All these happen I soak up the much enjoyed pressure of my need to stay at the top. I have prepared for it as much as I possibly could. But now, I have to face the judge. But I will face him with courage, for I understand that I carry with me all the weapons that I will ever need to win the case. My lawyer to is insanely imaginative. So, I guess I'll see you all in court.
Thursday, January 11, 2007
Nice To Know You
You misunderstand my my intentions,
You misread my lips,
You look only to what you see,
You never see beyond this hide.
But yet, I still lend you my hand.
You know why?
Because I'm not like you.
I cannot stand and watch,
While you drown in your own waters.
Its just not me.
So consider this my last.
Because from now on,
All you will see is my back.
For I am walking away.
And walking out.
Don't bother calling.
I have more important matters.
So I thank you for your time.
But just to let you know,
If you ever change your mind,
The door will always remain open.
You misread my lips,
You look only to what you see,
You never see beyond this hide.
But yet, I still lend you my hand.
You know why?
Because I'm not like you.
I cannot stand and watch,
While you drown in your own waters.
Its just not me.
So consider this my last.
Because from now on,
All you will see is my back.
For I am walking away.
And walking out.
Don't bother calling.
I have more important matters.
So I thank you for your time.
But just to let you know,
If you ever change your mind,
The door will always remain open.
Stuck In Between Two Enticing Paths
Today was a good day. I had managed to stride through the physics quiz unscathed and I had managed to finish my Calculus 2 revision in under 1 hour. A task which would usually take about 2 hours and a hell lot of head scratching. From where I'm standing, maybe I'm not such a bummer at math after all. Sometimes I wonder, how on earth could I have performed so badly at add math in high school? However, I figured the answer surely had to do with lousy teachers and the mundanes of the Malaysian education system itself.!Another good point of the day: I TRIED A FRIGGIN TAYLOR!!! AND I'M GONNA ROB JON'S HOUSE TONIGHT!!!AAAAARRGGGH!!!! Seriously, the Taylor sounded real sweet. And the best part is, its so small. But then again, its a Taylor. Only geniuses like Robert Taylor can create such fine guitars. See you tonight dude!!!! Better hide that Taylor...
Well, apart from being a good day, the day too had got me thinking about what is it that I really want to do when I finally leave the boundaries of lectured learning and step out into the world of learning by getting fired!
Before I had enrolled into college, I had always wanted to be either a pilot or an Aerospace Engineer. I had always been fascinated by the skies and I had always wanted to conquer it and experience its complete freedom. Also, I have never failed to be awed by air crafts and aerodynamics. They just represent one of man's greatest ever creation and they represent one of Physics most simplest but the most least understood of principles. For instance, nobody knows for sure why is it a plane actually flies. Of course, we have learnt about the Bernoulli's Principle and how it causes a plane to fly. But there are a few quarters who present very well documented evidence and experiments suggesting that it is wrong to use Bernoulli's Principle to explain flight. However, no matter how compelling the evidence against each other may be, no one can actually say for sure who is right and who is wrong. So, that's another mystery waiting to be solved and I look forward to the answer.
Anyways, after 2 semesters and 2 weeks into the third semester, I'm already having very different ideas about the way I see myself in the future. This semester, I had taken the liberty of undertaking the subject of Microeconomics. When I signed up for it, I did express my fears to my mother that I was afraid of economics and I might even fail. Of course, I based all these fears on a solid basis of never taking economics in the past and all those sheet reading and predicting were boring. But my mother gave me some good advice. She said that in life, one should learn to have their minds be like a parachute. Always open to anything. Never bear prejudice against anything. For prejudice would lead to a persons inevitable downfall. So, I took her advice and got myself into the economics class.
Well, I'd have to say, I was pleasantly surprised when I attended ECO 151 lecture. The lecturer was amazing and even more interesting was the fact that I had fell in love with the subject almost instantly and I could not wait to learn more. Now, only 3 classes in, I'm already thinking of the possible prospect of a switch in major. I was thinking of majoring in Economics. But at the same time, my love for aeroplanes still remain as strong as ever. So I'm stuck between two choices. Should I major in aerospace engineering or be an economist? I love both, but the unfortunate fact is, I can only choose one. And that itself is already an economic trade off.
Well, apart from being a good day, the day too had got me thinking about what is it that I really want to do when I finally leave the boundaries of lectured learning and step out into the world of learning by getting fired!
Before I had enrolled into college, I had always wanted to be either a pilot or an Aerospace Engineer. I had always been fascinated by the skies and I had always wanted to conquer it and experience its complete freedom. Also, I have never failed to be awed by air crafts and aerodynamics. They just represent one of man's greatest ever creation and they represent one of Physics most simplest but the most least understood of principles. For instance, nobody knows for sure why is it a plane actually flies. Of course, we have learnt about the Bernoulli's Principle and how it causes a plane to fly. But there are a few quarters who present very well documented evidence and experiments suggesting that it is wrong to use Bernoulli's Principle to explain flight. However, no matter how compelling the evidence against each other may be, no one can actually say for sure who is right and who is wrong. So, that's another mystery waiting to be solved and I look forward to the answer.
Anyways, after 2 semesters and 2 weeks into the third semester, I'm already having very different ideas about the way I see myself in the future. This semester, I had taken the liberty of undertaking the subject of Microeconomics. When I signed up for it, I did express my fears to my mother that I was afraid of economics and I might even fail. Of course, I based all these fears on a solid basis of never taking economics in the past and all those sheet reading and predicting were boring. But my mother gave me some good advice. She said that in life, one should learn to have their minds be like a parachute. Always open to anything. Never bear prejudice against anything. For prejudice would lead to a persons inevitable downfall. So, I took her advice and got myself into the economics class.
Well, I'd have to say, I was pleasantly surprised when I attended ECO 151 lecture. The lecturer was amazing and even more interesting was the fact that I had fell in love with the subject almost instantly and I could not wait to learn more. Now, only 3 classes in, I'm already thinking of the possible prospect of a switch in major. I was thinking of majoring in Economics. But at the same time, my love for aeroplanes still remain as strong as ever. So I'm stuck between two choices. Should I major in aerospace engineering or be an economist? I love both, but the unfortunate fact is, I can only choose one. And that itself is already an economic trade off.
Wednesday, January 10, 2007
Yours Truly
Well, now that I know the answer to my question, I shall not look anymore. For knowing it alone emancipates me and gives me wings to soar to places I have never been before. Of course, butterflies still reside in my stomach, but everything has to have a first step and no matter how hard it may seem,I will take it. I will take it for your sake and only for your sake alone. But I just hope that I don't make too many false steps which may ruin the pillars of the bridge that we so painstakingly built over the years, through the good times and the bad times. So, see you in the race. We might just cross it together.
Anna Lee
Anna Lee,
Yesterday you asked me,
Why havent you asked me?
And I answered I dont know
Maybe It's not the time.
But then,
You asked me,
Aren't you going to ask me?
And I said,
Maybe someday I will.
Someday, but not today.
Then you asked me,
How long do I have to wait?
And I asked,
Would you say yes,
If I aksed you now?
.
.
.
Well the answer is,
There is no such person as Anna Lee or anybody like that. I do realise that a few people have been assuming alot of things. Things like who these words are meant for and stuff like that. Honestly, its meant for no one. I've said this one too many times, and I dont mind saying it again. Don't assume anything.
These words are just for creative purposes only. Thats all there is to it. No more no less. Furthermore, If I really did have someone in mind, don't you think I'd let the person know instead of me writing it here? And don't you think that I'd be a little bit more private about it?
Yesterday you asked me,
Why havent you asked me?
And I answered I dont know
Maybe It's not the time.
But then,
You asked me,
Aren't you going to ask me?
And I said,
Maybe someday I will.
Someday, but not today.
Then you asked me,
How long do I have to wait?
And I asked,
Would you say yes,
If I aksed you now?
.
.
.
Well the answer is,
There is no such person as Anna Lee or anybody like that. I do realise that a few people have been assuming alot of things. Things like who these words are meant for and stuff like that. Honestly, its meant for no one. I've said this one too many times, and I dont mind saying it again. Don't assume anything.
These words are just for creative purposes only. Thats all there is to it. No more no less. Furthermore, If I really did have someone in mind, don't you think I'd let the person know instead of me writing it here? And don't you think that I'd be a little bit more private about it?
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