I Rode A Bull

Listening to these songs, I can't help but let my mind wander to some of the most enjoyable times I ever had. I was speaking to Kennard the other day, and he was talking to me about the orientation night at INTI and how it was a complete blast. There was rain, great bands, good sound systems, and mosh pits. But what caught his attention the most was how similar it was to last year. He kept telling me about how he was reminded of our band, The Rodeo Riders, and how he missed the good times we had practicing, and just living together as a band. In many ways, I could relate to what he was saying because I felt the same way. And in many ways, I feel like reliving those moments one more time, just for the fun of it, because those were among some of the best times in my entire life. Days where I felt like I was a part of something. Days where I could look into the eyes of another person and know that I could count on his or her words. Days where I could sit at a table and know that no one tried to put cyanide in my food. Sure, there were some difficult times then. There were those that got on my nerves and whose tongues were never the intentions of their minds. But overall, I took it all with a pinch of salt, and always had my head pointed forwards because I knew that I had something to look forward to. Something to dream and hope about.

It's hard not to think this way, when lately life alone has been like fighting a battalion with a squad. Don't get me wrong. I am having a great time here, meeting new challenges everyday, and trying to get the best out of whatever I have. But sometimes I feel like I am staring down a loaded barrel that is staring right back at me, and could or could not blow up at any moment. Unpredictable

I know that plenty of good things are coming my way. I am sure of that. I have some really great friends here. But, I just need the ground to stop shaking as much as it is, at least for a while.