Hidden Behind A Wall Of Me

Walking down the empty streets one cold night, after a long day of interpreting numbers, bag hanging over my shoulders, I cannot help but to take notice of my surroundings. The streets are empty, save for a a few passing cars that whiz by in a rush. The sound of their motion temporarily drowning out the silence of the streets. The wind, gently blowing past me. Oblivious to the frenzy rush of thoughts going through my mind. The light bulbs on the light posts line the streets in a single file. Some shining their dim light. Barely removing the darkness from the streets. Some flicker. Giving me a sense of insecurity and fear. My mind begins to wonder as to what may lay beyond the next corner. My mind starts to play tricks on me. Gory images of being mugged and being chased by the devil interrupt my trail of thought. But at the same time, the emptiness of the surroundings gives me a sense of peace. It gives me a sense of belonging.
As I continue to walk down these silent streets, I suddenly hear the sound of rustling leaves and cracking twigs. I stop dead in my tracks with the feeling of fear making my heart skip a few beats. "Who on earth could be walking these streets at such an unearthly hour?" I turn around and try to look for the sound. Somehow, I can't seem to find it. After some searching, I decide to continue walking. Shrugging it off as a vermin rummaging through the rubbish bins. My mind back to doing what it likes most. Thinking. Suddenly, I hear the sound again. This time it is louder. I ignore it and continue walking. My eyes silently looking over my shoulders. I can never be too sure. But the more I ignore it, the more vivid the sound becomes. This time I stop and look around. "Who's there?" I ask. "Who's there?" "Hahahah...giggle giggle..hahaha" I hear sounds of laughter filling the air. I start to imagine the worst. It was like a scene from Nightmare On Elm's Street. All it lacked was a Freddy Kruger. My eyes wide with fear, scanning the surrounding area, looking for the source of the sound. Then, as I look around, I see it. There it was, behind the bushes. Two entities wrestling while making passionate sounds. "What on earth could those two things be?" I started to wonder. As much as I was frightened, I was filled with curiosity. Therefore, I decided to find out what exactly were those things. As I inched closer, the sounds became even more vivid. I could hear them breathing. Their forms becoming more obvious. There they were banging each other senseless behind those bushes , all the while not realising my presence in which I was only feet away from them. But instead of staking my claim, all I did was to walk away, deciding that an open confrontation would only bring about a greater disaster. I have come to terms with it.

Walking through a mall, my surroundings are filled with vibrant colors and deafened by the voices of the many people that shop in its premises. Parents taking time off to spend some quality time with their kids. Couples holding hands with their partners. Displaying their affection for each other without a hint of concern for what anybody else thought. The salespeople attending to curious customers. Young children running around in while their parents shop. But all these vibrant sights and sounds are drowned out by the fantasies that are brewing in my mind. The fantasies that I have kept for far too long in my mind. Al these times, I only wished for one thing and one thing only. I wished for......But as always, it never happens.

The next day, while walkind down the same path, I saw a ghost from my past. Something I never expected. Like an old Aston, it never lost its appeal. But like a pauper, I could only have a glimpse. I had not the arsenal to penetrate it.