So Cold

Selfish I am,
Self centred I am,
Like a diva I behave,
Sulking my way through.
Doing it not once but many a times.
Regretting not once but many times.
I do wish to turn over a new leaf.
I do wish to learn how to lay back,
Lay back and enjoy while I still can.
A smile is always better than a sulk.
Even under difficult circumstances.
One day I know I will look upon this day,
And remind myself how selfish I was.
How insolent I was,
How insensitve I was.
The look on your face wil forever haunt me,
Will forever throw me into the dungeons of guilt.
But for all I did,
You forgave me.
I just hope that one day karma doesn't hit me back.
Because when it does,
I doubt that I will be able to take it.
At least not in the way you did.
Sometimes I wonder wheter or not I am worthy of your love?
Everytime I think about it,
My heart grows cold.
I realise that I don't.