"That fella ah! Who teach him to park car?"
"Eh! You think this is your father's bank ah? Simply cut line"
"Boon ah. Wait ah. Another five minute I come"
"Batu gajah setiap bulan pun bocor"

Ever heard these phrases before? If you haven't, my friend, you need to travel around Malaysia more. Today, after experiencing the Malaysian culture for almost 19 years, I'm here to speak about one thing that all of us face everyday. The Malaysian dilemma. In my speech, I will speak about the three most obvious dilemmas that Malaysia is facing. I will speak about the lousy and corrupt politicians and the Malaysian attitude. My job today is to persuade you that these dilemmas are a bad thing for Malaysia.

For my first point, I would like to speak about the Malaysian politics. Just the other day, I was watching Tony Blair face the House of Commons for the very last time as the Prime Minister of the United Kingdom. What I saw clearly astonished me because the debates and questions that were put across to Mr. Blair were indeed very intellectual and deep. On the other hand, when I was watching the Malaysian Parliament debates on you tube, I could not help but be absolutely horrified by what I saw. There they were, our "revered" Malaysian politicians, arguing and squabbling like small children over issues such as how short a woman's skirt should be allowed to be or whether or not beautiful women should be allowed to work! Aren't these just preposterous? I certainly do think so. Instead of debating about whether or not the 9th Malaysian plan should include budgets for health care or the elimination of poverty? Issues that are related to the people, these politicians are fighting over issues that make no sense. The best part is, a couple pf these arguments do make it into the press. And when they do, the Malaysian people would look like a bunch of bumbling fools to our foreign counterparts. Along with that comes the stigma, "Malaysians."

Apart from the corrupt politicians, a good part of the Malaysian dilemma stems from the ordinary folks. People like us. Yes ladies and gentlemen, you, me, and all those around us certainly are responsible for the destruction of the Malaysian image. Now, you may ask me why? Think about it. When was the last time you ever were on time for an appointment? or when was the last time you did not illegaly double park your car for god knows how long and caused a massive gridlock for as long as the eye can see? When was the last time you did not chose to throw your food wrapper into drain instead of the dustbin? Ring any bells? Of course it does. We do it all the time! Another example of our Malaysian problem is when an accident happens. For example. One day you were walking down Petaling Street. Suddenly, you heard a loud crash and someone screaming for help. Then the next thing you know, just like in the Tamil movies a huge crowd will gather around the scene of the accident. And instead of helping the poor victims to the hospital, all we ever do is stare and hope that one kind soul will do it for us. In my opinion, this is very bad attitude. Imagine what were to happen if you were the accident victim an no one came to your aid? How would you feel? What if it were your loved one?

My final point is about how we often blame the Malays for everything and anything that goes wrong in Malaysia. This has become so bad that the Malays have become the butt of all our dinnertable or even mainstream jokes. We have called them terrorists gangsters, drug addicts and all kinds of unkind names. My question is why? Why blame the malays for everything when you yourself damnwell know that much of what is happening to Malaysia isn't their fault? Imagine if a foreigner visiting China or India were to blame call the locals all sorts of unkind names for everything that goes on in their country? Imagine if someone were to walk up to you and say because of these Chinese people all the sharks in the world are dying or because of these Indian people everyone is walking around without arms? How would that feel?

As I bring my speech to a close, allow me to recap my main points. In my speech, I have spoken about the corrupt Malaysian politicians, the Malaysian attiitude and the neddless demonizing of the Malays. Before I end, I beg of you, please kick your Malaysian habit away or you will definitely live to regret it.