Rough As Hell

Some people live their dreams early. Some live them late. While some never live to live them at all. Sometimes I wonder which category I fall into? What points have I to argue that I am living my dream? What points have I to argue that I am not? What powers do I have to predict whether or not I will live to live my dream? Sometimes I really wonder. I have seen pictures, I have heard stories and I have seen for myself other people living their dreams. People whom I have sworn to believe would turn into nothing more than society's trash. But even if they are. They have something which I don't. The ability to live their dreams and be able to do what they want to do.
Sure, you might say that I am fortunate in many ways. Some of you may think that I have too much. I agree. I have alot. But they don't belong to me. They belong to my parents. I, am nothing but a freeloader, an opportunist. In their success story, I have played no part. No part at all.Therefore I own nothing.
But returning to my story. Sometimes I ask myself am I really doing what I want to do or am I really living the way I had set myself to live? The answer is I'm not sure. I have failed to reach targets which I have set for myself. I have fallen behind on so many things. I can't even close my eyes without having to worry about college. Especially physics which I just can't seem to master and seem to be falling behind as the week progresses. Heck, I don't even know what I want to do next. And what happens when I can't even get a decent line up to do the thing I love best? And what happens when I can't even express my ideas without looking like a tyrant? I really don't know. All I know is the year has been pretty rough on me and things just don't seem to be getting any better. But then again I guess that this is part and parcel of the journey to getting to where you want to go. Perhaps this is indeed the ups and downs of before I achieve my dreams. Maybe this is the experience which would teach me to stay resilient no matter how difficult things become. Maybe this will underline my status as being nothing more than a baby who has lost its candy. But either way, what lays ahead of me, I honestly can't be sure of. I can only predict. Whether or not it becomes, largely depends on me alone.