Sigh 7

I've often had this belief that if you really want something, all you have to do is to dig real deep and then reach out to get it. And I'm pretty sure that nine times out of ten, I am hardly wrong in my assessment. No, its not me going over the top to shoot someone or anything, but instead, its just me simply stating the obvious of what really is. Now, you might want to appreciate the fact that while making this statement, I do not wish to direct my attention to any specific case or anything along those lines. But I would though, like to make a generalization of the fact that while it is true that by putting effort into our wants, there is a better percentage of us actually achieving it, not many of us actually follow relatively successful methods.

Obviously, not wanting to be a hypocrite by any measure of the yardstick, I do wish to include my name among those who have wanted something so badly but hardly put any effort into it. And personally, if you were to ask me I could give you a million on one reasons as to why I chose to take the passengers seat, if you prefer it that way, instead of taking the steering wheel by its rims and turning it whichever way I wished of it to turn. But when I actually sit down and ponder over it, I can't help but come to a conclusion that can be fit into this phrase. "I am nothing more than a coward who dies more deaths than he actually needs to." Which of course does prove true in so many journeys that I have either witnessed or taken place. The fight is often over even before the first blood is drawn. Either one or the other submitting to the terms of the opoosition without even a sniff of a negotiation or action. Extremely pathetic I can assure you.

And a common consequence of such an adventure is that we often miss out on life itself. Sometimes we are just too consumed in sitting in the passengers seat that we forget how to live life the way it is meant to be lived. That is us being in our own cars, our own hands, fighting tooth and nail for our own destiny. And when the journey finally comes to an end all we can do is look back and ask ourselves, like so many others, the damned question no one should ever ask themselves. "What if?"

I know all to well what it feels like to ask myself that question. And the moment I do, I often feel this deep surge of torment that would often engulf myself for a very long time and that feeling is not a very pretty nor a healthy feeling to be in. In some extremes, it can severly cloud your judgement and lead you into some of the most irrational acts and thoughts.

But the question is, will we ever ever live life to the fullest and never regret about anything? As far as the thought is willing to go, I don't think we ever will. There. Now that I've said it, I hope that you now know why I still am and most probably will continue to remain silent even after all these times. I can only ask for understanding the same way I ask for you to remain proud every single moment of your existence.