Silent Scream

Everytime I think of you,
I can't help but feel guilty.
I don't understand why
But this is just how I feel.
Perhaps it would be much better,
If I just stopped thinking of you.
Perhaps it would be much better,
If I just erased you from my memory.
Forgetting all that has happened,
Between you and me.
But I know I can't.
I just cannot do it.
Like a black widow,
You trap me in a web.
The more I try to free myself,
The more trapped I become.
But instead of dreading this web,
I enjoy being trapped.
Sometimes I want to love you.
Sometimes I want to hate you.
Sometimes I just want to go back to the beginning,
And start all over again.
Maybe, maybe I would have seen.
Maybe I would have noticed.
And maybe I would have said it.
And maybe I would have done it.
But now, I look for my gun.
And I look for my antidote.
As I silently clutch my cure,
My mind contemplates its actions.
I scream a silent scream.
Suddenly a flash of white light blinds me.
Like an erupting volcano,
Your voice pounds my ear.
And like an angel,
You grab my hand,
And pull me out of this pit,
That I so desprately want to fall into.
You saved me.
You saved me from myself.
And as I fall into your embrace,
I begin to realise why I love you.