The Walk Of A Lunatic

Hmm, I can't seem to think right now. And therefore, impossible for me to conceive anything out of my already laden mind. Lately, I have been pushing myself to the brink of insanity. I have pushed myself to limits that I never really knew I had. And for this, I guess I shall reap my deserved rewards and also pay for it with the inability to write. I mean what more there is to say when I have done a combined 18 hours of studying over the past two days? What more there is to say when even after all those hours, I don't feel anymore secure than I did before the weekend started? I leave that to your judgement. But perhaps, once you have been right at the top of the playing field, going back down is an option worthy only of scorn. Even if it is only for a step backward. Perhaps to understand how I feel, you'd need to live a day or perhaps a week in my shoes. The same pair of shoes that I so desperately want to get in and get out of. The same pair of shoes that has took me a million miles and still does not show any signs of wear. Maybe, it is wearing out in an insidious fashion. I do not have the answers to that. But maybe time will tell. Time always seems to have the answer for every conceivable issue. If only I were a clairvoyant. Maybe then I'd be able to see if all this hard work will end up painting the picture that I want to see. A picture so intricate that only lunatics would dare dream of it. And even bigger lunatics would dare to paint it.